The Light in My Window

The Light in My Window

Thursday, December 22, 2016

And then, Christmas

It's good to be back at the blog this morning! The past two weeks have been an absolute blur of packing, saying goodbyes, and moving out of our house twice (again - our third and fourth moves since August!) to the storage unit we are renting and into our new apartment. We have had many very long days and short nights, physically exhausting trips of carrying loads of things up and down a flight of stairs (we are on the second floor), frustrations of trying to get our internet and computer up and running, and mainly just a multitude of adjustments. We are adjusting from a large, two-story house to an apartment (it seems every tine I turn around, I say "Where am I going to put THAT?") , from living in quieter area to a city, and from knowing our way around with ease to having to figure out where places are and how to navigate our new surroundings.

In the midst of all this, we had been in our new location for 4 days when we got the news that our daughter who was expecting their fourth child the very end of December was in labor. "Miss M" was born on December 12 and we were thrilled to welcome our 10th beautiful grandchild. Because she was a little early and on the small side, she developed jaundice. I was delighted to be able to go and spend a few days helping our our daughter and her husband with their new blessing as well as their 3 other daughters. Thankfully, "Miss M" is now doing fine.
Now I am home in a mostly unpacked apartment, and somehow it is 3 days before Christmas! To say this Christmas is like no other for us is not an exaggeration. Until a couple days ago, we had no tree or decorations up. I have not done my Christmas shopping. I still have not baked one single thing (and this is coming from someone who has been known to bake up to 10 different varieties of Christmas cookies in years gone by.) Since my husband is not pastoring and we do not yet have a church home, it is also the first year in almost 25 years that I have not been busy hosting Christmas Open Houses, ladies fellowships, deacon board dessert parties, youth group Christmas activities, caroling fellowships and a host of other things.

In other words, it doesn't seem much like Christmas around here. It certainly is not what I would have expected this Christmas to be like this time last year.

But as I usually do in December, I have been re-reading and meditating on Scripture verses and various aspects relating to the birth of Jesus. And this year, I was struck by this one thing: Christmas - the birth of Jesus - probably wasn't what Mary expected, either.

I love Luke 1:38 which records Mary's response to the angel who gave her the news: "Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word." When we say "yes" to the Lord, as we did back in 1989 when He called us to the ministry, and as Mary did that remarkable day that the angel appeared to her, we usually have in our minds a way things are going to go.

Somehow, I can't help but think that when Mary said those words - and meant them - that when it came near her time to deliver her baby and she found out she had to travel to a far-off place because of a census that had been ordered, she might have been thinking, "Are you sure, God? You really mean for me to endure this trip right now, in my condition?"

And when it came time for her to give birth, instead of being at home with her mother in a familiar and relatively safe environment, she had to give birth for the first time alone, in a humble, dirty stable meant for animals, not newborn babies.

No, that first Christmas probably didn't go as Mary expected either. But as I reflect this Christmas on the wonderful news that Jesus Christ was born, as I held my own newborn granddaughter I could only thank my Heavenly Father for sending His own Son as the perfect gift so that she and all of us who place our trust in Him can have our sins forgiven and a personal relationship with Him.

The next couple of days as you rush around trying to finish up all your Christmas preparations - as I will be doing, too! - remember that it isn't in all the expected trimmings of Christmas that we find true peace and joy. It is in remembering and rejoicing that Jesus left heaven and was born as a helpless little baby so that we might have life.

Merry Christmas!
Kathi

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Pressing Forward While Looking Back

As I am writing this, it is early morning and the last day of November. I am playing some soft Christmas music in the background. The days immediately following Thanksgiving but before December begins have always seemed a little awkward to me. Any trip to the mall or store leaves no doubt that Christmas is in full swing, but at home the fall decor of pumpkins, leaves and harvest arrangements are mixed in with Christmas decorations, and cookie baking and Christmas entertaining menu planning take over the kitchen while we still have leftover turkey and pumpkin pie in the refrigerator. Not this year, though!

This year the in-between-holiday season is even more unusual for me, because while others spent their post-Thanksgiving week Black Friday shopping, decorating for Christmas, putting up their tree, and occupied with the usual Christmas traditions, I spent mine organizing and packing boxes and getting ready for (another) move, which is only a week away. We had never planned to be moving at Christmas, but the Lord's timing is perfect, and we are more than ready!

In the same way we are in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have been thinking about pressing forward while looking back. I am really looking forward to getting settled in a new home, being able to be close to and involved in a local church again, and the potential of new friends and new opportunities.  I am ready to put a lot of things behind me. Sadness. Uncertainty that comes from not knowing how long we will be here. Living out of boxes since August. My husband's expensive and time-consuming daily commute to his job. And painful memories that come with living only 2 miles from church. 

At the same time, there are many things I don't want to ever forget from this time. At Thanksgiving we have a tradition in our family that following our Thanksgiving dinner we have a family worship time. During that time, we all give testimony of what we are most thankful for. Normally I have talked about things like our family, my husband, ministry, my salvation, and things like that. And there is nothing wrong with being grateful to God for those things. But this year, I realized that I was most grateful for God Himself, and for all He has shown Himself to be the past few months. The deeper knowledge of Him in a personal way. The lessons He has taught me. His presence, His grace, His provision for us. The sweeter times of fellowship with Him. The precious times of prayer. The times He has given us encouragement just when we needed it the most. I don't want to ever forget those things.

The obvious Scripture verse that comes to mind is Phil. 3:13b - "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which lie ahead." As I meditated on and studied this verse, the word "forgetting" is interesting, because it doesn't mean to forget in the same way that we forget to do something or where we put something. It doesn't mean to completely put it out of our mind. It has the idea of not focusing upon our past, but using it as a positive building foundation for the future. I loved that, because it exactly describes what I am talking about - not completely forgetting but remembering and applying the things God has taught us in a positive way to impact our future.

Another lesser known verse that talks about this same principle is Luke 9:62 - "Jesus said, No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." The word "fit" here means "effective." I don't know much about farming or plowing, but I can understand that if you are constantly looking back at where you have been that you won't be able to plow a straight path! If we are constantly looking back at the past, we won't be very effective at what God has for us in the future. So this is my prayer and my goal - to be able to discern what lessons from the past few months I have learned that I can use to help me embrace the future God has for us and to serve Him.

My posts the next few weeks may not be as frequent or as regular because of moving, getting unpacked and settled, having or not having internet connections, and yes - Christmas. I do plan, Lord willing, to continue writing and am looking forward to the next chapter! Thank you for following.

Love,
Kathi


Monday, November 21, 2016

Red Light, Green Light, and Thanksgiving

As I am writing this, we are just a few days away from Thanksgiving. This year we are looking forward to a short (very short) time of celebrating Thanksgiving with our daughter, son in law, and their three girls in another state. We are going there for Thanksgiving rather than them traveling here because our daughter is due to give birth to their fourth child in just a few weeks! We are excited to soon be welcoming our 10th grandchild!

Being a grandma is such a privilege as well as so much fun! When you are a grandma of 9, one of the things you become re-acquainted with is playing some of the childhood games. It starts out with toddlers playing Ring Around the Rosy, Duck Duck Goose, and Simon Says. Now our older grandchildren like to play board games (and they are really good at some of them!), but they still enjoy playing Hide N Seek, Tag, Mother May I? and Red Light, Green Light when we can play outside.

In case you don't remember how Red Light, Green Light is played, all the players begin together at the same starting line. There is a pre-determined distant goal for them to reach. When the leader in charge calls "Green Light!" everyone runs as fast as they can toward the goal. Then the leader calls "Red Light!" and everyone has to freeze in their tracks. Whoever doesn't, or the last one who freezes, has to start over back at the beginning.

Lately I have been feeling like my life resembles a game of Red Light, Green Light. We have good things happen, we thank God for the answers to prayer and blessings, and feel like we are well on our way toward our goal of becoming settled in our new life. And then an unexpected red light causes us to halt, or even to start all over again. Sometimes we can feel like we are stuck in the red light position for a very long time. Most of the time it catches us off guard. It began 5 months ago when my husband left his position as pastor under difficult circumstances. We were unsure where we were going to go, what we were going to do, and had no income - a big red light. He was unable to find a job for two months. Another red light. Then we sold our house the first week it was on the market. Green light! And my husband got a job, plus we found an apartment to live in! Green light again! But then the day before closing and after we had already moved out, the sale fell through. Huge red light, and we were back to square one. We moved back into the house (somewhat), the house was put back on the market and shown frequently, I began a new job. More green lights. Right now, we have been given a green light after another sudden and big red light having to do with the sale of our house, and there is the potential of many more red lights before this season is behind us.

I was thinking about this when I was reading in Acts 16 this week about Paul and Barnabas. They knew what it was like to have an uncertain future and constantly changing plans. Paul had plans to go in one direction to give the gospel, but God didn't permit it and re-directed those plans to Philippi instead. In Philippi they saw fruit from their ministry in terms of Lydia and the Philippian jailer both getting saved, but they also had great trials to endure in being unjustly accused, persecuted and even thrown into prison. They also knew what it was to have both green lights and red ones. This was a great reminder to me that just because we follow God's will it doesn't mean it's going to be easy, fruitful, or successful in our eyes. Sometimes it may seem we have more red lights than green. But going through hardships and adversity doesn't necessarily mean we are out of God's will or have missed His direction. He sends the red lights for various reasons and to accomplish purposes that are sometimes known only to Him.

Which leads me back to the thought I began today's blog with - Thanksgiving. This week, as I contemplate the events of the past year and what I have to be thankful for, I am challenged to be as thankful for the red lights as I am for the green ones. That seems impossible, and without the grace of the Lord, it would be. But I am reminded of the verse "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1 Thess. 5:17)  Knowing that this is God's plan for us helps us to be able to give thanks. There are so many things to be thankful for even among all the red lights - His presence, His word, His strength, His grace and help, His wisdom and leading, the lessons He teaches us and the gifts He gives us - that if we keep our focus on those things, thanksgiving is the result.

Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving,
Kathi

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Lessons From the Storm

It's a beautiful, cold morning here in Virginia! Between setting our clocks back this past weekend and turning our heat on for the first time, I am well aware that November is here. Since beginning my job, it is harder to squeeze time to write into my week, but I dearly love writing this blog and am so thankful for the opportunity to still have this avenue of ministry. I had several ideas in mind for this week's blog, but when it came time to write, the Lord gave me something else completely different. I'm afraid it is a little long. But I have learned over the years in both my teaching and my writing that when He shows me something from His Word, that is the best thing I can share, because it is coming from my heart.

The text I was reading was Matthew 14:22-35, about Jesus rescuing His disciples in the midst of the storm on the sea of Galilee. Of course I have read this account many times before, but the Lord seemed to give me new insight into it this time. Maybe it's because I can relate to the storm, to the disciples, and especially to their assumptions.

The disciples were simply obeying Jesus' command. He had told them to get in the boat and cross to the other side (verse 22). So I am sure that they assumed that they would be successful, because that was the objective Jesus had given them. When we are obedient to God's will for us, we assume that we will be successful. We left a great church after almost 18 years of ministry in obedience to God's directing us to come here. It was not a decision we made lightly or easily. Once we did, we assumed that because God was bringing us here that He was going to leave us here for awhile, and that He would accomplish great things in our new ministry.

But Jesus had a different purpose in mind for the disciples. He wanted to teach them something along the way. He purposefully planted them in the middle of a raging storm. He knew about it ahead of time - He's God! And Jesus waited, taking the time alone to pray, until the disciples were out in the middle of the sea (verses 23-24). It struck me as I was reading this - I wonder what He was praying about? Could it be that He was praying for His disciples who would soon be encountering this storm? I also think it is interesting that He waited until they were in the middle of the sea before He went to them. He knew they would be at the point where they could not do anything to rescue themselves, and when they would be the most desperate.

They must have wondered why Jesus would send them into this terrible storm, and when it would be over, and how they were going to survive. I can totally relate to those feelings. This time of stormy trial that we have been in now is coming up on 5 months. Sometimes I still feel like I am floundering. I wonder what is going on, why things turned out so differently, and when this will end.

When Jesus came to rescue them, the disciples didn't recognize that it was Him. They had assumed they were alone and that He was far away. But His words to them erased all doubt, and it was those few, simple words that really spoke to me:

"Be of good cheer, It is I, be not afraid." (verse 27)

Be of good cheer? How am I supposed to be of good cheer when I am in the middle of this life-threatening storm? What am I doing here, anyway? I can only "be of good cheer" when I respond to the next part -

"It is I. Be not afraid." I love that. It's Him - it's Jesus. The disciples knew that voice, and they knew the love, the power, the authority behind that voice. They had just seen Jesus do a miracle in feeding the 5000. Because Jesus is who He is, I don't have to be afraid. He's right there with me, and He comes to rescue me sooner or later.

One more thing - when they got to the other side, they worshipped (verse 32). They knew Jesus better, and they trusted Him more. That's my prayer - that when I finally am on the other side of this storm, that I will worship Him, because I will know Him better and will love Him more. Even when His purposes are very different from what we assume they will be.

Lovingly,
Kathi


Monday, October 31, 2016

From My Kitchen and From My Heart

If you like pumpkin spice sugared doughnuts, you are going to love me.

Last Saturday I had a great afternoon spending some time baking in my kitchen. Baking is one of my very favorite ways to spend Saturday afternoons this time of year, and even more so now that I am a working gal during the week. I knew I wanted to make something pumpkin, but something different than my usual pumpkin-chip muffins or pumpkin bread. I decided to try this recipe for Pumpkin Donut Mini-Muffins that I had saved to my Pinterest board, and oh my! They are SO good! Very light and moist on the inside with a sugared exterior, they taste exactly like a pumpkin donut. Make sure that you finish them by dipping them in the melted butter and then the cinnamon/sugar mixture (I know, I know!) because that is what makes them good! I should add that they freeze really well. I froze them in a zip-lock freezer bag (after I got finished eating 2 or 3 or...) and if you take out a couple when you want them, they take less than 30 seconds in the microwave and they are warm and fresh!

Pumpkin Donut Mini-Muffins

1/4 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup pumpkin puree (not pie filling)
1 cup flour (note to my GF friends - I made another batch using all purpose GF flour and they turned out great!)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. allspice (note: I didn't have any so omitted it. I added a little extra cinnamon.)

Topping - 1/4 cup butter, melted
                 1/3 cup sugar
                 1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon

With mixer, blend softened butter and sugar. Add egg and vanilla and beat until creamy. Blend in pumpkin puree. Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and allspice.

Fill a sprayed mini-muffin pan. You will get 20-24 mini-muffins, depending on how full you fill them. I used a small scoop, filling them about 2/3 full. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes. Remove to wire rack to cool. Meanwhile, mix cinnamon and sugar in a small bowl and melt butter in a separate bowl. Dip each muffin in melted butter, then into the cinnamon sugar mix. Repeat until all muffins are dipped. Makes 20-24 mini muffins.

I do hope you will try them. I promise you they will quickly become a favorite. My husband loves them too!

This week was a somewhat difficult week of transition for me, as I began my new job as an administrative assistant. The job itself is easy enough, my co-workers are nice, and the hours are great. But now every day is a fresh reminder of how different my life is from when I used to spend my days teaching Bible study classes, writing SS lesson material for my teen girls, planning events and fellowships, and helping my husband in the ministry. But although I miss ministry, I am reminded that my daily life can still make a difference by glorifying God, no matter how I am spending my days. You don't have to be a ministry wife to be used of God! Even amidst the seemingly mundane tasks of life, I need to have the attitude of remembering that God put me here, and because of that every task is a service to the Lord. I have this in my journal that I have referred to often:

I am here by God's appointment
In His care
Under His training
For His purpose.

Also this week someone who was very special to us went home to heaven. Dr. David Yearick was our pastor the years my husband was in school in Greenville, as well as his mentor. My husband served his pastoral internship under Pastor Yearick and was ordained by him and the ordination council there. Pastor Yearick was a true pastor - a shepherd-leader with a passion for people. He attended little kids' birthday parties, music recitals, and ball games. He spent hours with families going through surgeries and praying with people through trials. I am proud that my husband was also that kind of pastor, having a true pastor's heart, something that is very rare these days. Pastor and Mrs. Yearick will always hold a special place in our hearts for all we learned under their ministry and their influence on us and our family. Jeremiah 3:15 - "And I will give you pastors according to my heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding."

Til next week,
Kathi


Thursday, October 20, 2016

Navigating the New and Different

Last week the Lord provided another one of those "special gifts" for me, in the form of getting to spend a few days with our son, his wife and our 4 sweet grandchildren followed by a surprise 1-day trip to New York City with our son! My husband and I had planned to be gone for only Saturday and Sunday, as my husband had to come home in time for being at work early Monday morning. But I was able to stay on and help out with our grandkids for a couple days, as well as do some cooking, baking, and other things to lighten our daughter-in-law's load. On Wednesday our son was taking his Honor Society students from the Christian school where he teaches Bible on their annual trip to New York City, and he invited me to come with them! I was so excited!
I had a WONDERFUL day in New York City, and experienced more in one day than most people get to see in three days. We took the ferry from Hoboken, NJ, and I got my first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty and the New York skyline. Our first stop was Wall Street, the New York Stock Exchange district, and Federal Hall. That was followed by visiting old Trinity Church ( a National landmark rebuilt in 1846 and also where the movie National Treasure was filmed), and the 9-11 Memorial, which was a highlight of the day for me. After that we walked through both Chinatown and Little Italy, having lunch in Little Italy at the first pizza parlor in New York.

After lunch we boarded the subway for the Metropolitan Museum of Art (which is so huge you could easily spend a couple days just there) which borders Central Park. After spending a couple hours at the art museum we boarded another subway train and then walked to Grand Central Station, Rockefeller Center and the NBC Studio building, Radio City Music Hall, and Carnegie Hall. Across the street from Carnegie Hall at the Carnegie Deli we indulged in the best cheesecake I have EVER had, as well as some much-needed coffee! By then it was almost time to begin the subway trek back to the ferry station, but we walked through the Broadway district on our way back to the subway station. An after-dark ferry ride that gave us magnificent views of the city lit up at night completed our day.

All in all, according to my pedometer I walked 10.25 miles. And I felt like it that night!

To someone who is not a "city girl" (I'm not) and had never been to New York (I hadn't), it could be a little scary. Before we arrived I had mixed feelings of excited anticipation and nervousness. I thought of all the bad things that could happen! But once I was there, I absolutely loved it! And as I reflected on the day, much of the reason was due to the excellent guide I had in the form of my son. As someone who has been there many times and has guided many groups through the streets of the city, it was obvious he knew his way around! He knew exactly what sights we needed to see, where they were, and the fastest way to get there. He knew the ins and the outs of things like the subway system and the ferry and buying tickets and keeping ourselves safe. I was amazed at the way he zipped around, took shortcuts, led the students and was such an excellent tour guide. I simply had to trust his knowledge and follow.

As we continue in this season of uncertainty that the Lord has placed us in following the events of this summer, and as I struggle with trusting God (some days more than others), I realize that in the Lord I have the perfect guide and that it's really very simple: if I will just trust Him, He will navigate me through these unknown waters. He knows where I am, and where I am going. I only have to place my faith and trust in Him and realize that I have no reason to fear because He is right there with me. He loves me, He has a plan for me and He will accomplish it.

A verse that has been very familiar to me for many years and that I have memorized and recited many, many times is Psalm 46:10 - "Be still and know that I am God." This week I have broken that verse down phrase by phrase, and as I have meditated on each phrase it has become even more precious to me. "Be still" means to "cease striving." It has the idea of laying down your weapons. It also means to stop fretting and worrying and trying to figure everything out. It means to quiet your soul. "and know" - be absolutely confident in. In what? "that I am God." All that God is and all He does - His wisdom, His power, His goodness, His faithfulness, and more. We can be still, and be absolutely confident in God, because of all He is.

One more thing - when it comes to navigating through the new and different, I wanted to let my readers know that in a couple days I will be starting something else new - a job as an administrative assistant. This is going to be a big change for me, but I know that the Lord is there for me and will help navigate me through this adjustment too, if I trust Him. I hope to continue to have time to keep writing this blog, so please stay tuned! And remember that in your Heavenly Father, you have the best guide possible to navigate you through the new and different.

Love,
Kathi


Friday, October 7, 2016

Times of Refreshment

This morning was the first morning that when going for my walk, I put on a light jacket! It is finally feeling a little more like fall around here. The cooler mornings and evenings are so refreshing after a long, hot summer!

Refreshment is something we all need. Whether we have been immersed in a season of busyness, or just in the mundane daily details of living, a weekend or even a day away provides a much-needed change of scenery, rest, and refreshment. When we have been working outside in the yard or out running errands on a hot summer day, that tall cold glass of iced tea or bottle of water sure hits the spot. I am reminded this week that just as we all need physical refreshment, we need spiritual refreshing, sometimes even more than physical.

I continue to be amazed, even though I shouldn't be, how God always anticipates and provides for our every need. This week an evangelist friend of ours and his wife are in our area, and we have been so privileged to sit under his preaching in services all week long. We were excited to learn they were coming because we knew that we needed the spiritual refreshment. But we needed it even more than we knew we did. The messages from the Word have hit home every single service. The work that God did in our hearts, confirming once again His faithfulness to us, and fellowship time with our friends has been like balm to our souls.

As I reflected on these things being so refreshing to us when we needed it so much, my thoughts went to a verse of Scripture. Acts 3:19b says "that the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord." This time of waiting on the Lord for His will and provision in our lives is becoming a sweet time of refreshment and renewing, because true refreshment only comes from the presence of the Lord. We are learning, among other things, that it is more about the journey then it is about the destination.

There is another verse which relates to refreshment and renewal that I have come to understand in a whole new way. Isaiah 40:31 tells us, "They who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint." I have known this verse for decades, yet I have gained a whole new insight into what renewal means. During this season of waiting that God has placed us in, we have to first of all truly wait upon the Lord. That means not pushing. It means being willing to yield ourselves to God's leading and timing for what He has for us, and being content with where He has us right now, while waiting for Him to reveal His plan to us. According to this verse, that is how we truly are renewed, or refreshed.

You might not have an opportunity to attend a week of revival services, retreat, or other special event. I know many times I have wished I could! That doesn't mean that you can't receive refreshment. Make the effort to spend quality time with the Lord. Really study your Bible, not just skim through it. Journal your thoughts and insights. Let God and His Word bring refreshment to your soul!

Thoughtfully,
Kathi


Thursday, September 29, 2016

Living in Uncertainty

The title of this post seems to be the overriding theme of my life these days. Things continue to be much the same as they have been, which means we continue living in a state of uncertainty and "in limbo" where our future is concerned. We are in our fourth month of this journey into the unknown, and I can honestly say that I am learning so much. My journal is filled with special verses of Scripture, promises, lessons, and blessings from my times with the Lord. I think one of the main lessons God has been teaching me is that waiting is more about the journey, about focusing on God and who He is during the wait, than it is about the end result. That being said, living in uncertainty is difficult because it affects every area of our daily life, down to the smallest decision. How much do we unpack and get re-settled in our house? We have moved in the big pieces of furniture in order to stage the house for showing,  and a lot of my kitchen items, so we are definitely more comfortable. But I miss things like our family pictures and my books....if we knew we would soon be getting an offer on the house and moving, it is best to leave them packed, but if we are going to be living here awhile I sure would like them. The same goes for everything from furnishing our upstairs again to what quantities of things to buy (more to move!) to where I should apply for jobs.

As I was reflecting on this one morning while I was out walking, I was trying to think of an example of a woman in the Bible who must have lived with a lot of uncertainty, and my mind went to Jochabed, the mother of Moses. Her story is told in Exodus chapter 2. We aren't told that much about her, but we know enough to know that she lived with a lot of uncertainty. It began when her son was born and his life was threatened because of the order of the Pharaoh that all baby boys should be put to death. The Bible says she kept him hidden for 3 months. That must have been a daily exercise of trusting God in uncertainty - as she tried her best to keep him quiet and hidden, she must have lived every day wondering if this would be the day he would be discovered and taken away from her. Then when she couldn't hide him anymore, she made a basket and put her precious son it and hid him in the bulrushes of the river. Can you imagine - putting your 3 month old in a basket in the river, not knowing what would happen and for how long he would be safe? Even if she was able to keep him safe for awhile, what would happen when he got old enough to move and to walk? Then when Moses was found by the daughter of Pharaoh and was given back to Jochabed to nurse and raise her son, she would have lived with the uncertainty of not knowing just how long she might have him! I'm sure she probably took advantage of every moment, not knowing whether it may be her last with her son.

But you can't read this story without seeing God's hand of providence over and over again. If you go back to chapter 1, we see that God worked in the hearts of the midwives who had been commanded to put baby boys to death immediately upon their delivery. It says that the midwives "feared God," and it was God that led them to stand up to Pharaoh and come up with an explanation as to why they didn't follow through. If they had, Moses would never have lived. We see God's providence again when Moses WAS safe for his first three months. We see it when he was discovered by the daughter of Pharaoh and how God must have worked in her heart to have compassion and love for Moses, rather than turning him over to her father to have him killed as she could have done. And perhaps most obviously, we see God's hand of providence in the quick thinking of Moses' sister Miriam, who came up with the idea of offering the services of her own mother to nurse and raise Moses for the princess. And Jochabed even got paid for it!

My point in all of this (Yes, I DO have a point!) is that times of uncertainty are accompanied by God's providence. God does have a plan. Nothing can stop His plan from being executed. Eccl. 3:14 - " I know that whatsover God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it, and God does it that men should fear before Him." Job 42:2 - "I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted." God in His providence intervenes in the right ways at the right times to accomplish His purposes. His purposes are always for our good and His glory. Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."

There are some things we do not have to be uncertain about! One of them is our salvation. 1 John 5:13 tells us that "these things are written that ye may KNOW that ye have eternal life". If you have never come to the place where you realize that you are a sinner and that those sins separate you from God, and have not accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you can make that decision and never have to live in uncertainty concerning your eternal destiny! Another thing we can know is God's love for us, even in uncertain times. Again in Romans 8, verses 38-39: "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Even in these uncertain times we live in, you can be certain of God's love and provision for you!

Lovingly,
Kathi


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

When it Doesn't Make Sense

I am writing this on the first day of fall! Fall is my favorite season of the year and I welcome all it brings - the cooler temperatures, colorful leaves, apples, and baking all things pumpkin. This fall is quite different than most, however, as we still are in a state of limbo as I write this - living in our house which we had thought was sold, my husband commuting daily to his job, not having a church home, and having no idea what the future holds for us. At least we are no longer living in an empty house. We decided that since we have no idea how long we will be here, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to function in a house with no furniture and an empty kitchen, that as much as we hated to do it that it made sense to bring our belongings back from storage. The main factor in this decision was having to pay monthly rent on a large storage unit. And while I learned that we can definitely get along with a lot less,  I admit that I am really enjoying having a sofa, my own bed, and the pleasure of staging the house (since it is available for showings again) with fall decorations.

A lot of my thoughts the last two weeks have revolved around one main theme: "This doesn't make any sense." So many things about our situation don't make any sense to us. Why would our house sell the first week it was listed, and then fall through two days before closing? Why did it have to be at the last minute, after we had already moved everything out? Why would the Lord leave us living here, in a house that we need to sell and that requires my husband to drive two hours a day for work? When it means that we are a 45 minute to 1 hour drive from a good church, which keeps us from being able to get settled in a church and acquainted with people, involved, and serve in a ministry - when we could have been living a few short minutes away? Not knowing how long we are going to be here makes it difficult to know so many things, from where I should apply for jobs to how much of our stuff we should unpack. To our minds, the whole thing just doesn't make sense.

It was with these thoughts that I read Jeremiah 32. The Lord blessed me with so many good thoughts on the subject of when life doesn't make sense. In case you are not familiar with the story, at this time Jerusalem had been under siege for a year.  God had told the prophet Jeremiah to buy a particular piece of land. But the field that God instructed him to purchase was in a territory that was occupied by the enemy. And furthermore, Jeremiah was in prison. I am sure Jeremiah must have wondered why in the world God was telling him to buy a piece of land when he was imprisoned, and a piece of land that looked like he would never benefit from anyway. It didn't make any sense. But as I studied this passage, the Lord brought several things to my attention:

1. Jeremiah had to go to a lot of trouble to trust God. Verses 9-14 list all the steps that he had to take to buy this land: he had to obtain the money and weigh it accurately on scales, sign the deed, seal it, plus have another open copy. He had to find witnesses. He had to deliver the sealed deed with the terms and conditions of the purchase to the proper person, in the presence of his cousin who owned the land, the witnesses he had gathered, and in the presence of those who sat in the court of the guard. He had to give the proper instructions. This is a lot of work to go through for something that probably didn't seem to make a lot of sense. It reminds me of all the work we went through packing and moving all our belongings to storage, only to have to move them back again and unpack the boxes we had just packed. We had to call to have our utilities changed and then call all of them again to reverse it. We had to stop the change of address at the Post Office, and cancel the movers.

It also reminds me that God never said that everything He does was going to make sense to us. He also never said that His will was going to be convenient. Trusting God when it doesn't make any sense isn't easy!

2. Jeremiah had faith that God would keep His promises. v. 15 - " For thus saith the Lord of Hosts, the God of Israel: Houses and fields and vineyards shall again be bought in this land." Jeremiah focused on trusting in the promises and goodness of God.

3. Jeremiah still praised God for being the powerful Creator of all.  v. 17 - "Ah, Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for You!"  God Himself said in v. 27 - "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?" This gives us assurance that nothing is impossible to God! Just because it doesn't make sense to us doesn't mean that God is limited.

4. Jeremiah recognized God as being great in wisdom, and that He is aware of our situation. This is one of the most comforting things for me to remember - God not only knows all about it, but this is part of His plan for us. v. 19 - "Great in counsel and mighty in deed, whose eyes are open to all the ways of the children of man, rewarding each one according to his ways and according to the fruit of his doings."

5. God had a good plan for His people, even when it didn't look like it. v. 41 - "I will rejoice in them doing good, and I will plant them in faithfulness, with all my heart and soul."

In all of this, I was reminded that God's will doesn't have to make sense. His ways and thoughts are far higher than ours. When we dwell on His power, His wisdom, and His goodness, it makes all the difference. Even when things don't make sense.

Thoughtfully,
Kathi


Thursday, September 15, 2016

Love and Gifts, part 2

This is going to be a longer than usual post.

In my last blog post, I wrote about what God has been doing in my life in teaching me about His love for me. When I am walking through a dark time in my life, as I have been this summer, it doesn't mean that God doesn't love me. God does not have to prove His love for us by the gifts He chooses to give us, or the ways He chooses to bless us. He did that at Calvary. But at the same time, because God does love us, He delights in giving us special gifts and blessings along the way to encourage us, and I told you that I would write about those in my next post.

I had no idea.

When I wrote that, I had no idea that we were about to enter a new phase of this journey, and that God was going to bless and encourage us in ways that were beyond my comprehension. Those ways are continuing even now, in ways that are most sweet and precious.

A few days after I posted, on the day we had an appointment to sign the lease for our new apartment, and the day before we were scheduled to completely move out of our house, we got a phone call that turned our world upside-down. Our buyer was unable to close on our house because the buyer of their house had been denied their financing. Here we were, my husband already working at a new job and we had already moved everything out of our house except for a very few items, and suddenly the sale of our house was NOT going to happen. I can't tell you the panic and the feelings that we experienced in those moments.

I can tell you the ways God intervened and blessed us.

When we got the call that our closing was not going to happen, we were literally ten minutes from signing the lease on the apartment. We had re-scheduled our appointment that day. Due to the busyness of last-minute packing tasks and errands, I had been rushed all day and could see that I was running behind. I asked my husband to call the apartment management office and see if they could take us later, and they changed our appointment from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. We got the phone call at 2:50 p.m. If God had not intervened and led us to reschedule our appointment, it would have been too late. We would have already signed the lease on our apartment and been committed to it for a year, thus having both mortgage payments and rent.

A few weeks ago when we were looking for places to live, on the same day we found the apartment we also found a house to rent. It was smaller than our house, but a house, and I thought it preferable to rent a house rather than an apartment because I thought it would be an easier transition. One of the big pluses for renting this particular house was that it was available immediately - we could sign the lease and move in right away, rather than having to put everything into storage and wait for the apartment to be available. However, my husband did not feel like it was the right decision so we didn't take it. Again, the Lord had intervened. If we had taken it, we would have been already moved in and committed for at least a year.

Matthew 7:11 reminds us that as God's children, He delights in giving us gifts: "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" God has sent us so many blessings during this time that we started writing them down in a journal.

The very week that my husband left his position as pastor was the same week our younger son and his family came for an extended visit. The timing of that visit had been selected and planned months ago. I sincerely don't know how we would have gotten through that time without them.

Our other son and his wife, as well as our daughter and her husband, both opened their homes for us (because they live closer to us than our younger son does) to come and stay as often and for as long as we wished. This gave us a place to go, to think and pray, and to be with family.

Our daughter drove up while our younger son was here, and we all gathered at our oldest son's home for a weekend. This was the first time we had all been together in 4 years, other than a few hours at my mother-in-law's funeral. It was such a sweet blessing that God knew how much it would mean to me.

God has given us family that is unfailingly loving, praying, and supportive of us. He has given me some dear friends who regularly text, call, and pray for me.

A few weeks ago, God gave us an unexpected weekend away at the Outer Banks for our anniversary at a very low cost. The place where we were able to stay was available at the very last minute. We sat on the beach, watched the ocean, explored the area, talked, and prayed. The church service we attended while we were there was God-designed exactly for us. The message was one of the best I have ever heard on "Waiting on God."

God has given me a new friend, through a friendship with my sister that was established 28 years ago! Who ever would have thought that God was going to use that friendship to bless us now! This new friend has been such a blessing and encouragement, and also has made their home available to us any time we need it because it is closer to my husband's work and makes it possible for us to go to church without driving for an hour. (And we can enjoy furniture and TV!)

These are some of the tangible blessings. The greater ones are the intangible ones. My husband and I are enjoying a sweeter, more meaningful spiritual dimension to our marriage. And God is teaching me new lessons through extended times in His Word and prayer. I sometimes wake up with a hymn, chorus, or Scripture verse on my mind, and I wonder why. As I meditate on it, I realize it is exactly what God has for me that day. I am filling up my journal quickly!

This doesn't mean that this isn't hard. It is the hardest time we have ever been through in 41 years of marriage. We are living in a nearly-empty house with the bare essentials. We are waiting on God and trusting Him to provide for us, to sell our house at the right time, to reveal His plan to us, and lead us to a place of His choosing. We miss ministry.  We desperately miss not having a church home. This is the first time in my whole life I have not had a church or a pastor. This is the first time in our marriage we have not been involved in ANY type of ministry - we have been involved in one or more aspects of service since we were dating. We have no idea what lies ahead. But a quote I saw this week says it well: "Faith is confidence in the kindness of God no matter the confusion of circumstances."

Prayerfully,
Kathi



Love and Gifts, part 2

This is going to be a longer than usual post.

In my last blog post, I wrote about what God has been doing in my life in teaching me about His love for me. When I am walking through a dark time in my life, as I have been this summer, it doesn't mean that God doesn't love me. God does not have to prove His love for us by the gifts He chooses to give us, or the ways He chooses to bless us. He did that at Calvary. But at the same time, because God does love us, He delights in giving us special gifts and blessings along the way to encourage us, and I told you that I would write about those in my next post.

I had no idea.

When I wrote that, I had no idea that we were about to enter a new phase of this journey, and that God was going to bless and encourage us in ways that were beyond my comprehension. Those ways are continuing even now, in ways that are most sweet and precious.

A few days after I posted, on the day we had an appointment to sign the lease for our new apartment, and the day before we were scheduled to completely move out of our house, we got a phone call that turned our world upside-down. Our buyer was unable to close on our house because the buyer of their house had been denied their financing. Here we were, my husband already working at a new job and we had already moved everything out of our house except for a very few items, and suddenly the sale of our house was NOT going to happen. I can't tell you the panic and the feelings that we experienced in those moments.

I can tell you the ways God intervened and blessed us.

When we got the call that our closing was not going to happen, we were literally ten minutes from signing the lease on the apartment. We had re-scheduled our appointment that day. Due to the busyness of last-minute packing tasks and errands, I had been rushed all day and could see that I was running behind. I asked my husband to call the apartment management office and see if they could take us later, and they changed our appointment from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. We got the phone call at 2:50 p.m. If God had not intervened and led us to reschedule our appointment, it would have been too late. We would have already signed the lease on our apartment and been committed to it for a year, thus having both mortgage payments and rent.

A few weeks ago when we were looking for places to live, on the same day we found the apartment we also found a house to rent. It was smaller than our house, but a house, and I thought it preferable to rent a house rather than an apartment because I thought it would be an easier transition. One of the big pluses for renting this particular house was that it was available immediately - we could sign the lease and move in right away, rather than having to put everything into storage and wait for the apartment to be available. However, my husband did not feel like it was the right decision so we didn't take it. Again, the Lord had intervened. If we had taken it, we would have been already moved in and committed for at least a year.

Matthew 7:11 reminds us that as God's children, He delights in giving us gifts: "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" God has sent us so many blessings during this time that we started writing them down in a journal.

The very week that my husband left his position as pastor was the same week our younger son and his family came for an extended visit. The timing of that visit had been selected and planned months ago. I sincerely don't know how we would have gotten through that time without them.

Our other son and his wife, as well as our daughter and her husband, both opened their homes for us (because they live closer to us than our younger son does) to come and stay as often and for as long as we wished. This gave us a place to go, to think and pray, and to be with family.

Our daughter drove up while our younger son was here, and we all gathered at our oldest son's home for a weekend. This was the first time we had all been together in 4 years, other than a few hours at my mother-in-law's funeral. It was such a sweet blessing that God knew how much it would mean to me.

God has given us family that is unfailingly loving, praying, and supportive of us. He has given me some dear friends who regularly text, call, and pray for me.

A few weeks ago, God gave us an unexpected weekend away at the Outer Banks for our anniversary at a very low cost. The place where we were able to stay was available at the very last minute. We sat on the beach, watched the ocean, explored the area, talked, and prayed. The church service we attended while we were there was God-designed exactly for us. The message was one of the best I have ever heard on "Waiting on God."

God has given me a new friend, through a friendship with my sister that was established 28 years ago! Who ever would have thought that God was going to use that friendship to bless us now! This new friend has been such a blessing and encouragement, and also has made their home available to us any time we need it because it is closer to my husband's work and makes it possible for us to go to church without driving for an hour. (And we can enjoy furniture and TV!)

These are some of the tangible blessings. The greater ones are the intangible ones. My husband and I are enjoying a sweeter, more meaningful spiritual dimension to our marriage. And God is teaching me new lessons through extended times in His Word and prayer. I sometimes wake up with a hymn, chorus, or Scripture verse on my mind, and I wonder why. As I meditate on it, I realize it is exactly what God has for me that day. I am filling up my journal quickly!

This doesn't mean that this isn't hard. It is the hardest time we have ever been through in 41 years of marriage. We are living in a nearly-empty house with the bare essentials. We are waiting on God and trusting Him to provide for us, to sell our house at the right time, to reveal His plan to us, and lead us to a place of His choosing. We miss ministry.  We desperately miss not having a church home. This is the first time in my whole life I have not had a church or a pastor. This is the first time in our marriage we have not been involved in ANY type of ministry - we have been involved in one or more aspects of service since we were dating. We have no idea what lies ahead. But a quote I saw this week says it well: "Faith is confidence in the kindness of God no matter the confusion of circumstances."

Prayerfully,
Kathi



Monday, August 29, 2016

Love and gifts, part 1

I think it really hit me the other morning, when I picked up my Bible, journal, and cup of coffee...and realized I had no place to go to have my devotions. No cozy comfy recliner in my loft office. No sofa. Not even the porch swing or patio furniture outside. All we have in our house right now are 2 lawn chairs in the living room, a small table in the kitchen, and a bed. Not even our own bed, but I am thankful to not be sleeping on the floor!

We had not intended to be living in an empty house for 2 weeks.  But the sale of our house closes 5 days before the apartment we are moving to is available. Consequently, we have to move everything into storage, which means we are moving twice. And most significantly, we also had to move out of our house when we had some men available to help us. That happened to be last Thursday.

I am a homebody. I love my own bed, my familiar things around me, my comfortable routine. I don't even like camping. So this change in my surroundings and living in an empty house for this long is really hard for me. But during my time in the Word this morning, I read Psalm 119:114 - "You are my hiding place, and my shield: I hope in Your Word." It reminded me that no matter where I am, or what place I reside in, that my time with the Lord is is the important place. He is always the same and He never fails me!

Before I go any farther with writing this post, I want to emphasize that I am not writing this so that you will feel sorry for me. If that is what you take away from it, then I will have done a poor job of communicating and you will have missed my point. This is also a very honest post, about what I have struggled with recently. It is not easy to be transparent, but I do that hoping that it will help someone else.  I want you to know, dear reader, that God has been so real to me and has shown me so many things during this difficult time. The unexpected loss of a job, no income, trying to decide where to go and what to do, selling our house, moving away, having no church home, having to go back to work, and adjusting to starting anew is a lot to deal with, especially in the space of two months.

If I think about and dwell upon all these losses and changes, I begin to question God's love for me. That is compounded by looking around and comparing my life to the lives of others. Friends who are going on fabulous vacations, others having easy fun-filled summers, and even pastors who have been given sabbaticals by their churches made me feel discontent and envious. All I have done was serve the Lord to the very best of my ability and live a life that honors Him. Why is all this happening to me? Why is God giving all these gifts to other people, and not to us? Where is His love for me?

And then - I am so thankful for this - God showed me the problem in my thinking. Actually, more than one problem - the first is failing to remember that I deserve nothing. Everything I have is because of God's grace! But the other problem is the one I want to focus on, and that is this: I was equating God's love for me with the gifts He gives. Because He didn't give me the gifts I thought He should, and He was giving others bigger and better things, He must not love me as much.

What really made this clear to me was....Christmas. Yes, Christmas. I started thinking about it being almost September, and we all know that once September hits, Christmas comes upon us faster than a speeding train. And I began to realize that we have TEN grandchildren (the tenth to be born in December), not to mention 3 children and their spouses, and that Christmas is going to be very different this year. We certainly will not be able to give our grandchildren as many or the kind of presents that we would like to give them. Does that mean that we love them any less? NO!! If we give them a very small gift, or even no gift at all, it has nothing to do with how much we love them. It does not mean that our love for them is diminished. We cherish our grandchildren, and our love for them is in no way related to the size or extravagance of the gifts we give to them.

In the same way, God does not have to prove His love for us in the gifts he chooses to give us, or the ways he chooses to bless us. He proved His love for us at Calvary. The chorus of one of my favorite songs says it well:

"If You never speak another word of blessing,
And Your silence leaves me with a sense of loss,
I'll remember when my heart begins to question,
Any doubt that You love me
Was settled at the cross."

 (Settled at the Cross " by Lee Black, Phil Mehrens, Lyn Powell from "Be Our God" (Wilds).

When I begin to doubt that God loves me, I need to read and meditate on all the verses and proof in His Word telling me just how much He does! Just a few:

Jeremiah 31:3 - "I have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn thee."  Ephesians 2:4 -  "But God who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherein He loved us." 1 John 3:1 - "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God." 1 John 4:9 - "In this was manifested the love of God toward us, that God sent His only begotten Son into the world that we might live through Him."

There is another side to this: Because He does love us, God delights in giving special gifts to His children to encourage them. He has done that for us time and time again these past two months. In my next post, I will be sharing that side of God's love. In the meantime, remember that God loves you.

Blessings,
Kathi






Wednesday, August 17, 2016

What's Next?

I am at the blog first thing this morning, because I woke up with a Scripture verse on my mind. I have been enjoying these last few, quiet, precious mornings in my favorite spot in my sun-filled loft upstairs in our house with my Bible and my journal and my coffee. I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss a lot of things. And that is why I am meditating on this verse this morning.

Micah 6:8 - "He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? But to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God."

There are a lot of verses that I might expect the Lord to bring to my mind with all that is going on in our lives right now. This wasn't really one that I would've thought of. But it is really speaking to me.

"He has shown you what is good"  He has shown us what is good - His will for us. His will is always good, because He is good. After much searching and pleading with the Lord for His will to be shown to us, and submitting to whatever His plan might be, He has answered by giving my husband a job. It is a secular job, in a field that is new to him. God has answered by leading us to a place to live. We are downsizing to an apartment that is less than half the size of our house. That does not translate to "inexpensive." Which means I will be soon be looking for a job myself.

These are huge changes. They are not forever - at least, right now we don't expect them to be. After much prayer we came to the conclusion that we need a year to get our bearings and discern what the Lord tells us is the next thing for us. But right now, this is the next thing.

So now that He has shown us what is His good will, what does He require of us?

1. To do justly. Just to obey and to do the next right thing. Even though it might be new and scary and hard.

2. To love mercy, or kindness. One of the sweet benefits of this dark time we have been walking through is more time together as a couple. We have been doing a devotional study on love, and one of the characteristics of love according to 1 Cor. 13 is kindness, so we make an extra effort to show kindness to each other. And when you are under a lot of stress and having to make a lot of decisions like we are, that is sometimes the hardest time to remember to be kind.

3. To walk humbly with our God. That's easy right now. When you don't have the answers and you don't have the resources, you have to rely on God. And that's a good thing. We can't do any of this without Him. We are depending on Him for everything. Every single thing in my life is changing right now, and I don't like change. (I will probably be blogging about that in a future post.) The best thing we can do right now is acknowledge our dependence on the Lord, and walk closely with Him.

Hoping you will do these things too.

Love,
Kathi



Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Trusting God in the Dark


The first thing you need to know is this: I have missed writing. And I have been working on writing this post for weeks.

And the second thing - this is the hardest post I have ever written. Although I express myself best through my writing, the words just wouldn't come. I thought last summer with my husband's knee replacement surgery and subsequent complications and recovery was hard, but the events of the past two months make last summer look great.

It is amazing to me that in mid-June, for the first time, I actually had two posts all written ahead of time, proofed, and in my draft box ready to post. One of them was a post on recipes for Father's Day. And in one of life's little ironies, the other post I had written was about the joys of being a pastor's wife.

You will not be seeing that post. Because I am no longer a pastor's wife.

It brings tears just writing that, because I still can't wrap my mind around that. I have been a pastor's wife for over 21 years. But it's true and I needed to let you know that. I will not be sharing the details of what happened, because no good would come from that. What I will be attempting to share is what Lord has been doing in my life in a very difficult season. And that theme will probably continue for awhile - at least I hope it will, because God's strength and encouragement to me is everything.

The last several weeks I have felt like I was walking in the dark. Do you know what I mean? When it is really dark, you don't see even a glimmer of light. You fumble your way around and bump into things that you don't expect. You aren't sure how you got there, and you have no idea of the way out. And every time you feel like you are beginning to find your way out of the dark place, you find out you aren't any closer than you were before.

The Lord has been so good to give me a lot of very special passages and verses of Scripture lately, but one stands out for this season in my life: Isaiah 50:10b - "Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God."

That verse was just for me. It gave me my direction. When you are walking in the dark, you gravitate toward the only source of light that you have. And according to this verse, that light comes from my relationship with God.  I have to trust Him to know the way out and to lead me. I know from my relationship with Him that I can trust Him. I have to rely upon what I know to be true about God. I might not be able to see those things right now, but I know from His Word that I can rely on my God who is good, wise, who loves me, and is in control.

So over the past few weeks, what was already a close relationship with the Lord has become even more precious. I have spent hours in the books of Isaiah and Psalms, reading and journaling through them, and praying. It has been the only light I have. And it has been good.

I know my blog has changed a lot since I began writing it 2 years ago. What began as an account of my life and chronicled some lighter topics of our home, recipes, and grandchildren has become more a sharing of my heart and of the things that God has been teaching me. That type of writing seems to be my "niche." I hope that somehow, in some way, these thoughts might encourage you. I don't want to assume that everyone who  reads my blog knows the Lord in a personal way, so if you have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and begun a close relationship with Him, please let me know. That would be my greatest joy.

I am not sure what God has in store for us. Stay tuned and when I find out, you will too! Right now we are in the midst of packing. We sold our house very quickly, which was both a blessing and a concern, because we had no idea where we were going to go. It is a little disconcerting, to say the least, to be packing up and preparing to move in a little over 2 weeks, and we still aren't sure where we are going or what we are going to be doing.

Trusting God in the dark.

Tenderly,
Kathi






Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Children and Prayer

I have come to this page often in my mind the past few days, trying to sort my thoughts and express them with the right words. Sometimes I have ideas in my mind and just can't get them written. Part of the issue has been physical - I still am recovering from the health challenges I wrote about in my last post, and now I am finishing a round of antibiotics for yet another infection. I did not know it was possible to come down with 3 things in the space of 4 weeks! I am gradually recovering and and beginning to have my normal energy level (and ability to think clearly!) back. It makes me even more grateful for the measure of health I have always enjoyed, when there are so many who don't. And it has been encouraging for me to see in the past few weeks how God has given me good-health days on exactly the days that I needed it - for my trip home, for my speaking at our ladies luncheon last Saturday, and for being at our son's for our grandson's kindergarten graduation recently.

When our three-year-old granddaughter saw me, she squealed "Ma-Ma!" and jumped into my arms. Love it! But even sweeter were her next words. "Ma-ma, how is your rash? (she is referring to the bad rash I mentioned in my last post) - and - "I have been praying for your rash!"

I was floored. My tiny granddaughter had been praying for my rash? And she thought it important enough that it was the first thing she told me?

Later that day at supper before my husband and I left to come home, our six-year-old grandson wanted to pray. Besides thanking God for the food and the nice day and the new play set we helped build, he prayed, "Help Ma-Ma and Pa-Pa to have a safe trip home. Help them not to be tired. I pray that there wouldn't be traffic. And help them to only have green lights and yellow lights, and to just go and go and go!"

We hid smiles at his words and his enthusiasm, but again, I was stunned at the depth and specifics of his prayer for a six year old. This was completely un-prompted and un-coached. I thought about how it was evident that their parents are teaching them how to pray. And I realized that when I pray for my grandchildren, it never occurred to me to pray that they would learn to pray. I pray every day for their salvation, for their health and safety, for their protection from sin, and for them to learn to obey and make right choices. But I had never thought about praying that they would be children, and someday men and women, of prayer!

As I have been mulling this over in my mind this week, my heart has become even more burdened for my grandchildren - all eight of them (to be nine in the next couple of weeks!) Oh, that they would learn how to pray and see the importance of praying about everything. That they would grow up to be men and women, moms and dads, and husbands and wives who take everything to the throne of grace! What a difference that will make in their lives if they learn that lesson now while they are so young.

Through this I have been encouraged to pray in a deeper way for my children and grandchildren. Praying Scripture for our children and grandchildren is something I have written about before and something that is so easy and so good to do. A book that I have that I recommend is "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children" by Jodie Berndt. This little book helps you to pray specifically and scripturally for their faith, character, relationships and their future. When we pray Scripture, we can be confident that we are praying right.

And as a side note, God did answer our grandson's prayer. We had one of the quickest and easiest trips home that night that we ever have had. I texted my daughter in law and told her to make sure she told our grandson, and she said "What a good lesson for him, that God answered his prayer."

What a lesson for me - to remember to pray about the deeper and the truly important aspects of our grandchildren's lives. "Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving." Col. 4:2

Prayerfully,
Kathi

Friday, June 3, 2016

A Memorable May

I have really missed being at the blog.

I didn't intend to go three weeks without publishing a post. Let's just say that the month of May this year was definitely a very memorable month. It started well enough, with the final Ladies Bible Study classes of the season and some of our sweet ladies treating me to lunch at Olive Garden on the last day. And some of the more normal events that filled my month were a cake decorating class at church for our teen girls and their moms, a weekend of much-needed yard work, celebrating Mother's Day, giving a baby shower, picking strawberries, attending a symphony concert, several meetings, and annual dentist and doctor appointments.

Yes. May was an extremely busy month. But I haven't gotten to the big stuff yet.

Our daughter, son-in-law, and 3 granddaughters were able to come for a week. During that time, our house was a busy, noisy, happy place with a 6 year old, 4 year old, and almost-2-year old. We did a lot of fun things: celebrated our daughter's birthday with a special dinner and she and I getting pedicures together (it is a rare treat to be able to be with one of our children on their birthday!), went to the beach, spent a day at Jamestown Settlement, took a ferry ride, and just enjoyed a lot of play time and making crafts. During their visit, our daughter and her husband celebrated their 8th wedding anniversary so pa-pa and I kept the children at home for a pizza and movie night while their parents enjoyed a much-needed night out.

About three days into their visit, I noticed that I was coming down with a very strange, bright red, and EXTREMELY itchy rash on my arms. It got to the point where I could not sleep at night unless I wrapped ice packs around my arms, so I made a trip to my doctor's office. He was mystified, as it looked and seemed very much like some type of poisonous plant but I had not been working outside for over a week. He prescribed a round of oral steroids as well as a steroid cream, and for the remainder of that week which coincided with our daughter's visit, I was rather miserable from the itching, swelling, and not being able to sleep.

It finally started to clear up, just in time for me to get on a plane for a planned visit to my parents in Georgia. I had not seen them since last September and was looking forward to spending the time with them as well as helping out as much as I could. I had a great week - doing things with my parents, celebrating my sister's and my birthdays with a special lunch, going shopping with my mother, in addition to getting their garage and closets cleaned and organized, accomplishing some outdoor chores, cooking, and various other little things. I also enjoyed walks and extended times of prayer outside in the early mornings.
It was a great week - until Sunday night when I got hit suddenly and hard by one of the worst stomach flu bugs I have ever had. I will spare you the details. The next day I was running a fever, had a horrible headache and chills, and could not sit up in a chair for more than a few minutes. My poor mother had her hands full trying to care for me and my dad who requires a lot of her attention. And I was wondering how in the world I was going to be able to fly home in just over 24 hours.

That's when the month of May became the most memorable to me. Because I asked people to pray, and God answered prayers in such a clear and wonderful way.

I felt better by the time I had to leave - I was still unable to eat anything and was very weak, but the fever, headache, and nausea were gone, which was important because I had to make a 2 hour shuttle ride and then a trek through the Atlanta airport.

I specifically asked people to pray for a short security line. Long security lines at the Atlanta airport had been in the news just a few days prior. When I got my boarding pass, I had been granted "pre-check" status - meaning I waited in line for a grand total of 5 minutes! Without having to take off my shoes and open my bags.

I asked for prayer for strength to handle my luggage. At the gate, because the flight was full they asked for volunteers to check their bags for free. Of course, I volunteered so I did not have to carry my luggage onto the plane and stow it overhead, and because I did they gave me early boarding privileges - meaning I was one of the first ones on the plane and could just relax until it was time for take-off.

After I got home, I expected my recovery to continue, but the next day I actually felt a lot worse. So back to my doctor's office I went. I now had been at my doctor's a total of three times in a month - as much as I normally am in an entire year. The doctor diagnosed me with either salmonella or noro-virus, but we will probably never know for sure. Before he came in, the nurse was looking over my chart and said "That's right! You were in here just recently for that bad case of poison-whatever." When I agreed, she shook her head and said "You sure have had a memorable May!"

Yes. It was a memorable May. Some of it I wouldn't want to repeat. But it is memorable in good ways, too. Family time. Answers to prayer. And realizing - again- just how big and how good our God is. Psalm 28:7 - "The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusted in Him and I am helped. Therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song will I praise Him!"

Till next time,
Kathi

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

"Re-Calculating!"

Rain, rain, go away.....My weather app on my phone tells me that not only is today's rain likely to continue throughout the day, we are in for more rain the end of the week...and next week. Can I just say that I sure would like to see some sunny days?

My weather app is something I use on a daily basis. Another aspect of technology that has become valuable to my husband and me is the GPS. We are on our second GPS device and now that we have a built-in navigation system in our car, we really enjoy the convenience of that. Whether we are on a long trip like our recent trip to Illinois, visiting church members, or trying to find an unfamiliar hospital, certain business, or restaurant, the GPS makes it so much easier.

I heard someone say recently that our Christian walk with the Lord is not so much like Google Maps as it is like a GPS. As I thought about that, it is very true. Google Maps lets you put in a starting point and your desired destination, and voila - you get a complete and detailed mapping of the entire trip - where to start out, what time you will arrive, which route is best to take, and what to expect along the way. It even gives you alternate routes to select from.

Don't you wish the Christian life was like that! We would be handed a map with our starting point, ending point, and all we would have to do is follow the printed directions. We would be able to see the instructions for our entire life all in one glance.

No, following God is more like a GPS. With the GPS you still put in your starting point and your desired destination, but unlike Google Maps, it doesn't give you the plan for the trip all at once. It gives you directions one step at a time. Turn here. Now exit there. Now continue for X amount of miles. Make a right hand turn. If we pay attention, and precisely follow the instructions, we will (hopefully) end up at the right place. Thankfully, God's directions are always right!

When we are following God, He doesn't let us see the entire route at once. We can only see the next step. He leads us along, one step at a time. We have to pay attention to His leading and trust Him for each moment. I am reminded of 2 Cor. 5:7, "For we walk by faith, and not by sight." Psalm 119:105 puts it in terms of a light. "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." A light sheds just enough light for us not to stumble and to be able to see our next step.

Something else with the GPS that always makes me chuckle is the voice that says "Re-Calculating!" When we venture off the route to make a stop for gas or for a meal, we are chided that our route needs to be re-calculated. I always imagine hearing a twinge of annoyance in that voice, even though it is a computer and I remind myself that computers don't have feelings! Recently, while on a trip to visit one of our sons, we took an alternate route, knowing from experience that the main route would be a traffic nightmare at that time of day. When we turned off the main and recommended route, we heard "Re-Calculating!" for miles as the GPS tried unsuccessfully to get us back to the main route.

Sometimes God has to give us the "Re-Calculating!" message. It might be that we have gotten off His desired path for us and He needs to bring us back into His will. We can be thankful that God always knows the best plan for us. Psalm 18:30 - "As for God, His way is perfect." He is always good and He is always faithful, and if we heed to His voice He will lovingly guide us back onto the right path.

Or it may be that God gives us a "Re-Calculating!" message when the life that we have planned is changed. We so often have expectations of how things are supposed to be, and how our day or our week or even our life is supposed to go. God may have another plan, and it is up to us to heed His "Re-Calculating!" message and be obedient and submissive to His will for us. I have become convinced in recent days that unfulfilled expectations are one of the main causes of disappointment and unhappiness in our lives. How we react to His "Re-Calculating!" message determines our outlook and our peace and joy.

How about you? Are you depending on God's leading on a step-by-step basis? Are you discontent because He hasn't revealed His entire plan to you for this thing you are trusting Him for? Can you respond with trust to His "Re-Calculating"?

Lovingly,
Kathi


Wednesday, May 4, 2016

A Garment of Praise for the Spirit of Heaviness

This is one of those days where it is hard to know what to blog about.

I could tell you that this is the 4th rainy day in a row. Not exactly significant.

I could write about the events of last week, which was pretty crazy. It was one of those weeks which inspires the motto "Expect the Unexpected."  Think ministering to people hospitalized and having surgeries (in different hospitals in different cities but on the same day), being out every evening with a meeting or ministry obligation, church bus issues, a missionary family staying with us for 2 nights, a memorial service and meal afterwards at our church, and a really fast all-in-one-day trip to Maryland. We made the trip to see two of our grandchildren performing in a 50th anniversary spring concert and celebration of their Christian School, which happens to be the same Christian school I attended for 2 years when I was in high school. Our granddaughter's elementary choir sang and our grandson's kindergarten class sang dressed up like eagles (the school's mascot). I'll post some pictures so you can see how cute they were, and another one of me with their younger sister:
 

We left home for Maryland at 6 a.m., spent the afternoon and evening with them, and arrived back home at 2 a.m. - and had to get up in a few hours for a teen activity and a nursing home service my husband was conducting. Definitely crazy. Especially since we are not exactly young anymore.

But none of those things are really what is on my heart to blog about. I have to admit to a heaviness of spirit today, and the past couple of days, over the state of affairs in our country. I normally do not write about political things in this blog. There are plenty of other blogs where you can read about politics and the presidential campaigns and race. I must concede, however, that things are looking pretty dim for Christians concerning the Presidential election. It seems like all hope of having a president who is a Christian who leads with any standards of righteousness is gone. In fact, things are probably going to get a lot worse then they already are. We as a country are getting what we deserve - our country abandoned God and threw Him out of our schools, our homes, and our society long ago.

Not only is the national political scene disheartening, but the rise of shootings, violence, terrorist attacks, and crime in general is just plain scary. Two Sunday mornings ago while we were in Sunday School there was a shooting at a grocery store only 2 miles from our church. A young man who was a customer in the store was killed, leaving a pregnant wife and a toddler. This is a store I often shop at. Hardly a day goes by that you don't hear about a shooting or attack of some kind at a mall, a school, theatre, or home. Several churches have been the scene of shootings in recent weeks. When you add other recent events such as  the "bathroom bill" and all that will mean, and it is no wonder we are overcome by a spirit of heaviness and hopelessness.

In light of all these things, what does a Christian do? The only answer is to meditate on our God, and Who He is. My thoughts are drawn to a verse in Isaiah 61:3 that talks about having "the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."  A garment is something that you have to purposefully put on, and it covers our humanity. God's prescription for a spirit of heaviness is to think upon Him. Specifically, we can dwell on His attributes and praise Him for them.

I have been meditating on God being a God of truth. Truth is something that seems to be rare these days. You can use your Bible and a concordance and look up verses on God being a God of truth. These are some of my favorites:

  • Psalm 33:4 - "For the Word of the Lord is right, all His works are done in truth."
  • Psalm 100:5 - The Lord is good, His mercy is everlasting and His truth endures to all generations."
  • Psalm 117:2 - "For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord endures forever."

Other characteristics of God that are good to meditate on and praise Him for are His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:23), His goodness, and His sovereignty. I love Isaiah chapters 40-46 which tell us over and over again that the Lord is God, that there is none other, and that He is in control.

These are the things that we need to think on right now. Praising God for Who He is will put things into the right perceptive and lessen that spirit of heaviness. God is good!

Till next time,
Kathi





Thursday, April 21, 2016

Something Old, Something New

A few years ago when we came to our present ministry, a dear lady gave me this verse she had written out on a card for me: "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth, shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

I still have that piece of paper, and God brought it to my mind as I was contemplating the events of the past week and what I should write about today. I was absent from the blog last week because we were away at our former church in Illinois. In celebration of their 20th anniversary, they held a homecoming mini-Bible conference and invited us, as the first and only former pastor, to come and participate. We were fresh out of Bible college where my husband was a much older than average student, when we moved to this town where he was called as the first pastor of that church. Little did we know at the time that we would stay there for 17 years. And this visit was our first time returning since we left 3 1/2 years ago.
Our visit was wonderful. We had precious times of fellowship with friends there, and God blessed the services. Our hearts were filled with joy at seeing first-hand how God is continuing to bless and lead that church in that small midwestern community. There is nothing like leaving your first church which was (and continues to be) so precious to us, and seeing it grow with new families and have a joyful, Christlike spirit and standing strong. 2 John 1:4 "I rejoiced greatly that I found my children walking in truth, as we have received commandment of the Father" and 3 John 4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth" are both so true! I have always applied that to our children and the joy we have as parents that they they are all living for and serving the Lord, but now that verse has even more meaning to me.

At the same time, during our five days there we could not help but do a lot of reminiscing. Everywhere we went the memories were present. We remembered the early days of renting a senior citizens community facility and having to set up and tear down before and after every service for five years. We remembered buying our new building and how excited we were to have a place to call our own; building an addition, putting on a new roof, renovating a small missions house. There were memories of Vacation Bible Schools, evangelistic services, church picnics, Christmas Cantatas and plays, youth rallies and activities, fellowships and dinners and trips to camp. Things only people such as ourselves who had been there at the beginning and throughout the entire life of the church could know and experience. And we missed seeing many people who had been very dear to us who have been promoted to heaven since we moved away. Our three children grew up there. We drove by our old houses and remembered playing basketball in the back, kids learning to drive, the blocks where they used to deliver newspapers and walk our dog, the library where all three of them worked in high school. The memories were overwhelming, and if I may be honest, really sad. Because they were memories of a season of life that is now in the past and can never be recovered.

I experience the same feelings when I work on or look at the photo books I have made. I have mentioned in previous posts that I enjoy scrapbooking. I have made special photo books of each of our kids and our grandchildren, of family vacations and trips, of special family occasions. They are filled with pictures of children who were once adorable babies and children and now are grown and have children of their own, of grandparents and great grandparents who are in heaven. They capture happy times in the past. And sometimes they are hard to look at.

All of these things together, if I dwell on them, can make me feel sad and even filled with regrets and longing for the "old days." But God doesn't want us to live in the past! That's why the verse I started today's post with is so special to me. God is wanting to do something new! If we are living in and longing for our past life, then we miss what He wants to do for us now. In addition to promising us that He will do something new, the end of that verse contains a promise that He will even do the unexpected and the seemingly impossible - making a road in the wilderness and a river in the desert certainly falls into that category.

When we get thinking about days and special times gone by, instead of being sad, we need to

  • thank Him for each person and each special time
  • praise Him for the gift of memories
  • trust Him for the future
As one of my favorite quotes says, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened!" (Dr. Seuss) God blessed us in the past - God wants to do something new!

Till next time,
Kathi