This is going to be a longer than usual post.
In my last blog post, I wrote about what God has been doing in my life in teaching me about His love for me. When I am walking through a dark time in my life, as I have been this summer, it doesn't mean that God doesn't love me. God does not have to prove His love for us by the gifts He chooses to give us, or the ways He chooses to bless us. He did that at Calvary. But at the same time, because God does love us, He delights in giving us special gifts and blessings along the way to encourage us, and I told you that I would write about those in my next post.
I had no idea.
When I wrote that, I had no idea that we were about to enter a new phase of this journey, and that God was going to bless and encourage us in ways that were beyond my comprehension. Those ways are continuing even now, in ways that are most sweet and precious.
A few days after I posted, on the day we had an appointment to sign the lease for our new apartment, and the day before we were scheduled to completely move out of our house, we got a phone call that turned our world upside-down. Our buyer was unable to close on our house because the buyer of their house had been denied their financing. Here we were, my husband already working at a new job and we had already moved everything out of our house except for a very few items, and suddenly the sale of our house was NOT going to happen. I can't tell you the panic and the feelings that we experienced in those moments.
I can tell you the ways God intervened and blessed us.
When we got the call that our closing was not going to happen, we were literally ten minutes from signing the lease on the apartment. We had re-scheduled our appointment that day. Due to the busyness of last-minute packing tasks and errands, I had been rushed all day and could see that I was running behind. I asked my husband to call the apartment management office and see if they could take us later, and they changed our appointment from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. We got the phone call at 2:50 p.m. If God had not intervened and led us to reschedule our appointment, it would have been too late. We would have already signed the lease on our apartment and been committed to it for a year, thus having both mortgage payments and rent.
A few weeks ago when we were looking for places to live, on the same day we found the apartment we also found a house to rent. It was smaller than our house, but a house, and I thought it preferable to rent a house rather than an apartment because I thought it would be an easier transition. One of the big pluses for renting this particular house was that it was available immediately - we could sign the lease and move in right away, rather than having to put everything into storage and wait for the apartment to be available. However, my husband did not feel like it was the right decision so we didn't take it. Again, the Lord had intervened. If we had taken it, we would have been already moved in and committed for at least a year.
Matthew 7:11 reminds us that as God's children, He delights in giving us gifts: "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" God has sent us so many blessings during this time that we started writing them down in a journal.
The very week that my husband left his position as pastor was the same week our younger son and his family came for an extended visit. The timing of that visit had been selected and planned months ago. I sincerely don't know how we would have gotten through that time without them.
Our other son and his wife, as well as our daughter and her husband, both opened their homes for us (because they live closer to us than our younger son does) to come and stay as often and for as long as we wished. This gave us a place to go, to think and pray, and to be with family.
Our daughter drove up while our younger son was here, and we all gathered at our oldest son's home for a weekend. This was the first time we had all been together in 4 years, other than a few hours at my mother-in-law's funeral. It was such a sweet blessing that God knew how much it would mean to me.
God has given us family that is unfailingly loving, praying, and supportive of us. He has given me some dear friends who regularly text, call, and pray for me.
A few weeks ago, God gave us an unexpected weekend away at the Outer Banks for our anniversary at a very low cost. The place where we were able to stay was available at the very last minute. We sat on the beach, watched the ocean, explored the area, talked, and prayed. The church service we attended while we were there was God-designed exactly for us. The message was one of the best I have ever heard on "Waiting on God."
God has given me a new friend, through a friendship with my sister that was established 28 years ago! Who ever would have thought that God was going to use that friendship to bless us now! This new friend has been such a blessing and encouragement, and also has made their home available to us any time we need it because it is closer to my husband's work and makes it possible for us to go to church without driving for an hour. (And we can enjoy furniture and TV!)
These are some of the tangible blessings. The greater ones are the intangible ones. My husband and I are enjoying a sweeter, more meaningful spiritual dimension to our marriage. And God is teaching me new lessons through extended times in His Word and prayer. I sometimes wake up with a hymn, chorus, or Scripture verse on my mind, and I wonder why. As I meditate on it, I realize it is exactly what God has for me that day. I am filling up my journal quickly!
This doesn't mean that this isn't hard. It is the hardest time we have ever been through in 41 years of marriage. We are living in a nearly-empty house with the bare essentials. We are waiting on God and trusting Him to provide for us, to sell our house at the right time, to reveal His plan to us, and lead us to a place of His choosing. We miss ministry. We desperately miss not having a church home. This is the first time in my whole life I have not had a church or a pastor. This is the first time in our marriage we have not been involved in ANY type of ministry - we have been involved in one or more aspects of service since we were dating. We have no idea what lies ahead. But a quote I saw this week says it well: "Faith is confidence in the kindness of God no matter the confusion of circumstances."
Prayerfully,
Kathi
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