The Light in My Window

The Light in My Window

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Pressing Forward While Looking Back

As I am writing this, it is early morning and the last day of November. I am playing some soft Christmas music in the background. The days immediately following Thanksgiving but before December begins have always seemed a little awkward to me. Any trip to the mall or store leaves no doubt that Christmas is in full swing, but at home the fall decor of pumpkins, leaves and harvest arrangements are mixed in with Christmas decorations, and cookie baking and Christmas entertaining menu planning take over the kitchen while we still have leftover turkey and pumpkin pie in the refrigerator. Not this year, though!

This year the in-between-holiday season is even more unusual for me, because while others spent their post-Thanksgiving week Black Friday shopping, decorating for Christmas, putting up their tree, and occupied with the usual Christmas traditions, I spent mine organizing and packing boxes and getting ready for (another) move, which is only a week away. We had never planned to be moving at Christmas, but the Lord's timing is perfect, and we are more than ready!

In the same way we are in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have been thinking about pressing forward while looking back. I am really looking forward to getting settled in a new home, being able to be close to and involved in a local church again, and the potential of new friends and new opportunities.  I am ready to put a lot of things behind me. Sadness. Uncertainty that comes from not knowing how long we will be here. Living out of boxes since August. My husband's expensive and time-consuming daily commute to his job. And painful memories that come with living only 2 miles from church. 

At the same time, there are many things I don't want to ever forget from this time. At Thanksgiving we have a tradition in our family that following our Thanksgiving dinner we have a family worship time. During that time, we all give testimony of what we are most thankful for. Normally I have talked about things like our family, my husband, ministry, my salvation, and things like that. And there is nothing wrong with being grateful to God for those things. But this year, I realized that I was most grateful for God Himself, and for all He has shown Himself to be the past few months. The deeper knowledge of Him in a personal way. The lessons He has taught me. His presence, His grace, His provision for us. The sweeter times of fellowship with Him. The precious times of prayer. The times He has given us encouragement just when we needed it the most. I don't want to ever forget those things.

The obvious Scripture verse that comes to mind is Phil. 3:13b - "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which lie ahead." As I meditated on and studied this verse, the word "forgetting" is interesting, because it doesn't mean to forget in the same way that we forget to do something or where we put something. It doesn't mean to completely put it out of our mind. It has the idea of not focusing upon our past, but using it as a positive building foundation for the future. I loved that, because it exactly describes what I am talking about - not completely forgetting but remembering and applying the things God has taught us in a positive way to impact our future.

Another lesser known verse that talks about this same principle is Luke 9:62 - "Jesus said, No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." The word "fit" here means "effective." I don't know much about farming or plowing, but I can understand that if you are constantly looking back at where you have been that you won't be able to plow a straight path! If we are constantly looking back at the past, we won't be very effective at what God has for us in the future. So this is my prayer and my goal - to be able to discern what lessons from the past few months I have learned that I can use to help me embrace the future God has for us and to serve Him.

My posts the next few weeks may not be as frequent or as regular because of moving, getting unpacked and settled, having or not having internet connections, and yes - Christmas. I do plan, Lord willing, to continue writing and am looking forward to the next chapter! Thank you for following.

Love,
Kathi


Monday, November 21, 2016

Red Light, Green Light, and Thanksgiving

As I am writing this, we are just a few days away from Thanksgiving. This year we are looking forward to a short (very short) time of celebrating Thanksgiving with our daughter, son in law, and their three girls in another state. We are going there for Thanksgiving rather than them traveling here because our daughter is due to give birth to their fourth child in just a few weeks! We are excited to soon be welcoming our 10th grandchild!

Being a grandma is such a privilege as well as so much fun! When you are a grandma of 9, one of the things you become re-acquainted with is playing some of the childhood games. It starts out with toddlers playing Ring Around the Rosy, Duck Duck Goose, and Simon Says. Now our older grandchildren like to play board games (and they are really good at some of them!), but they still enjoy playing Hide N Seek, Tag, Mother May I? and Red Light, Green Light when we can play outside.

In case you don't remember how Red Light, Green Light is played, all the players begin together at the same starting line. There is a pre-determined distant goal for them to reach. When the leader in charge calls "Green Light!" everyone runs as fast as they can toward the goal. Then the leader calls "Red Light!" and everyone has to freeze in their tracks. Whoever doesn't, or the last one who freezes, has to start over back at the beginning.

Lately I have been feeling like my life resembles a game of Red Light, Green Light. We have good things happen, we thank God for the answers to prayer and blessings, and feel like we are well on our way toward our goal of becoming settled in our new life. And then an unexpected red light causes us to halt, or even to start all over again. Sometimes we can feel like we are stuck in the red light position for a very long time. Most of the time it catches us off guard. It began 5 months ago when my husband left his position as pastor under difficult circumstances. We were unsure where we were going to go, what we were going to do, and had no income - a big red light. He was unable to find a job for two months. Another red light. Then we sold our house the first week it was on the market. Green light! And my husband got a job, plus we found an apartment to live in! Green light again! But then the day before closing and after we had already moved out, the sale fell through. Huge red light, and we were back to square one. We moved back into the house (somewhat), the house was put back on the market and shown frequently, I began a new job. More green lights. Right now, we have been given a green light after another sudden and big red light having to do with the sale of our house, and there is the potential of many more red lights before this season is behind us.

I was thinking about this when I was reading in Acts 16 this week about Paul and Barnabas. They knew what it was like to have an uncertain future and constantly changing plans. Paul had plans to go in one direction to give the gospel, but God didn't permit it and re-directed those plans to Philippi instead. In Philippi they saw fruit from their ministry in terms of Lydia and the Philippian jailer both getting saved, but they also had great trials to endure in being unjustly accused, persecuted and even thrown into prison. They also knew what it was to have both green lights and red ones. This was a great reminder to me that just because we follow God's will it doesn't mean it's going to be easy, fruitful, or successful in our eyes. Sometimes it may seem we have more red lights than green. But going through hardships and adversity doesn't necessarily mean we are out of God's will or have missed His direction. He sends the red lights for various reasons and to accomplish purposes that are sometimes known only to Him.

Which leads me back to the thought I began today's blog with - Thanksgiving. This week, as I contemplate the events of the past year and what I have to be thankful for, I am challenged to be as thankful for the red lights as I am for the green ones. That seems impossible, and without the grace of the Lord, it would be. But I am reminded of the verse "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (1 Thess. 5:17)  Knowing that this is God's plan for us helps us to be able to give thanks. There are so many things to be thankful for even among all the red lights - His presence, His word, His strength, His grace and help, His wisdom and leading, the lessons He teaches us and the gifts He gives us - that if we keep our focus on those things, thanksgiving is the result.

Wishing you a blessed Thanksgiving,
Kathi

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Lessons From the Storm

It's a beautiful, cold morning here in Virginia! Between setting our clocks back this past weekend and turning our heat on for the first time, I am well aware that November is here. Since beginning my job, it is harder to squeeze time to write into my week, but I dearly love writing this blog and am so thankful for the opportunity to still have this avenue of ministry. I had several ideas in mind for this week's blog, but when it came time to write, the Lord gave me something else completely different. I'm afraid it is a little long. But I have learned over the years in both my teaching and my writing that when He shows me something from His Word, that is the best thing I can share, because it is coming from my heart.

The text I was reading was Matthew 14:22-35, about Jesus rescuing His disciples in the midst of the storm on the sea of Galilee. Of course I have read this account many times before, but the Lord seemed to give me new insight into it this time. Maybe it's because I can relate to the storm, to the disciples, and especially to their assumptions.

The disciples were simply obeying Jesus' command. He had told them to get in the boat and cross to the other side (verse 22). So I am sure that they assumed that they would be successful, because that was the objective Jesus had given them. When we are obedient to God's will for us, we assume that we will be successful. We left a great church after almost 18 years of ministry in obedience to God's directing us to come here. It was not a decision we made lightly or easily. Once we did, we assumed that because God was bringing us here that He was going to leave us here for awhile, and that He would accomplish great things in our new ministry.

But Jesus had a different purpose in mind for the disciples. He wanted to teach them something along the way. He purposefully planted them in the middle of a raging storm. He knew about it ahead of time - He's God! And Jesus waited, taking the time alone to pray, until the disciples were out in the middle of the sea (verses 23-24). It struck me as I was reading this - I wonder what He was praying about? Could it be that He was praying for His disciples who would soon be encountering this storm? I also think it is interesting that He waited until they were in the middle of the sea before He went to them. He knew they would be at the point where they could not do anything to rescue themselves, and when they would be the most desperate.

They must have wondered why Jesus would send them into this terrible storm, and when it would be over, and how they were going to survive. I can totally relate to those feelings. This time of stormy trial that we have been in now is coming up on 5 months. Sometimes I still feel like I am floundering. I wonder what is going on, why things turned out so differently, and when this will end.

When Jesus came to rescue them, the disciples didn't recognize that it was Him. They had assumed they were alone and that He was far away. But His words to them erased all doubt, and it was those few, simple words that really spoke to me:

"Be of good cheer, It is I, be not afraid." (verse 27)

Be of good cheer? How am I supposed to be of good cheer when I am in the middle of this life-threatening storm? What am I doing here, anyway? I can only "be of good cheer" when I respond to the next part -

"It is I. Be not afraid." I love that. It's Him - it's Jesus. The disciples knew that voice, and they knew the love, the power, the authority behind that voice. They had just seen Jesus do a miracle in feeding the 5000. Because Jesus is who He is, I don't have to be afraid. He's right there with me, and He comes to rescue me sooner or later.

One more thing - when they got to the other side, they worshipped (verse 32). They knew Jesus better, and they trusted Him more. That's my prayer - that when I finally am on the other side of this storm, that I will worship Him, because I will know Him better and will love Him more. Even when His purposes are very different from what we assume they will be.

Lovingly,
Kathi