If you read my recent post about the potluck dinner recipes, at the end I mentioned that I would be soon be blogging about something for mothers. It's one of those things that has been on my mind for a little while. I don't write too often about mothering, because having adult children and grandchildren, I am past that season of my life. But as I thought about that, I'm really not. God gives us our children for a lifetime. We are still mothers when our children are grown and on their own, it is just that our roles have changed. No longer are we spending our days changing diapers, rocking babies, disciplining toddlers, supervising playtime, wiping faces and noses and hands, making meals and feeding little ones, and picking up toys. We are not dealing with homework and music lessons and curfews and giving rides to all kinds of activities. But as moms of adult children, we move to answering questions about recipes and stain removal and fevers. We have the privilege of praying for them and their families and their ministries.We encourage and support them in what God is having them do. That is why I say that just because our children are grown, our job as mothers does not cease.
And that leads me to the question that this blog post is about....what is our goal in mothering? I used to think that the answer to that question was to eventually work ourselves out of a job when our children leave home. But if our role of motherhood is a lifetime gift and commitment, then that is not true. If we would say that our goal is to raise happy and healthy children and see them go out on their own to fulfill their dreams, I say that we have missed the point. God never tells us that the happiness of our children is the most important thing. The question we should be asking is: What is God's design for mothering? The answer to that question, I believe, is that our mothering is to glorify God. 1 Cor. 10:31 reminds us that "whether we eat or drink, or whatsoever we do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 6:20 also tells us, "For ye are bought with a price, therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
Having the view that God's design for mothering is to glorify Him will help us to mother intentionally. When we are in the seemingly endless, sleep-deprived baby and toddler years, we can remind ourselves that we are not just going through the motions day after day, but we are to be doing everything in a way that brings glory to God, both now in the everyday nitty-gritty, and with the future in view. I recently found this quote from Elisabeth Elliott:
"This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, and not somewhere else and doing something else, I may learn God's ways. In this job, not some other, God looks for faithfulness."
God doesn't want us to just persevere and get through the difficult seasons of motherhood. He wants us to have joy in knowing that we are doing what we are doing to bring glory to God. When the children grow older and we are grappling with decisions and situations about friends, activities, and education, always keeping in sight the thought that our mothering is to glorify God will help tremendously when it comes to making those choices and decisions. Does it glorify God to promote this outside interest or activity if it means our child is missing church? Does it glorify God when we permit friendships that are going to be a negative influence on our children?
As mothers of adult children, we still need to mother with the intention of glorifying God. Many mothers have trouble transitioning to a role which means they are not involved with their adult children's life and decisions on a daily basis. When we understand the Biblical teaching that our adult married children are to "leave and cleave", then letting them do just that glorifies God. Upholding them in prayer, and finding ways to encourage and support them as they raise their families brings glory to God.
Intentional mothering. It means realizing that God gave us our children as a gift to be given back to Him. It means living out our role as a mother in a way that will ultimately bring God the glory.
Thoughtfully,
Kathi
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