Taking the Time

We had a special milestone in our home last week - my husband celebrated his 60th birthday. I considered writing this whole post about him, but I knew he wouldn't like that. Besides, I also turn 60 this year and I know I don't really want that much attention given to it! Because of our work schedules, we had to divide up his birthday celebration. We went to lunch on his actual birthday, and then we were able to go to our older son's home this past weekend. He cooked a fabulous birthday dinner (how about steak and homemade crab cakes?) and we had a wonderful time playing with our 4 grandchildren, attending church services together, and just enjoying some special family time.

As my  husband and I sat across the table from each other the other day at lunch, I remarked how unbelievable it was that we met when we were only 16 or 17 (we got married young after high school graduation), and now we are 60! We have been together for basically a lifetime. One of the many things that is special about my husband and has contributed to the success of our marriage is that he always has taken time for me and for the kids. Even when he was simultaneously a full-time student preparing for the ministry and working full time, he always made family time a priority, even if it was just playing a game, a bike ride around the block, or a trip for ice cream. When he was a student, he would have the kids help him study. When he had to work, he would give them little jobs to do so they could be with him. How thankful I am that now I see that same characteristic in all three of our grown children as they are parents! They always take time to play, to listen, to have family Bible time, and to explain and teach.

As I have been working in the restaurant industry the past few weeks before beginning my new job next week, I learned a great many things - besides the fact that I don't enjoy that kind of work! My last evening working I observed two customers in particular. One was a grandfather who brought his two toddler grandchildren into the restaurant for supper - alone! He was rather overwhelmed, to say the least, and was very apologetic about asking for two high chairs, more napkins, wet wipes, and all things that eating out with toddlers require - but he was obviously thrilled to have this special time alone with his grandchildren. The other customer was a young father with his daughter who was upper-elementary school age, perhaps 9 or so. He carried on an animated conversation with her about school, her friends, and what interesting things had happened that day - he was unmistakably genuinely interested in her. I couldn't help but overhear and smile as I cleaned tables nearby.

Why did I especially notice these customers? It was because they were the rare example of parents (or grandparents) who were taking time for their children. Over the past few weeks, I have observed that 90 percent of the families who came in to eat spent the whole time on their phones! Each of the parents, and the children if they were young teens or older, would be glued to their respective phones and barely speak a word to each other the entire time! If the children were young, the parents would give the children an Ipad or a video game to occupy them, and then proceeded to spend the entire time on their phones. I can't tell you the number of times I wanted to scream, "Put down the phones! Look at your kids! Talk to them! Don't you know how quickly these years pass and you are not taking the time to know your kids, much less parent them!"  I cringe to think what kind of relationship they will have (or more accurately, won't have) with their children, and what kind of parents their kids will become.

There are many passages of Scripture that speak to passing on the things of the Lord to the next generation. We are familiar with Deuteronomy chapter 6 in which God commands us to teach our children about Him. One of my favorite verses, which I have written about here on the blog before, is Psalm 78:4 - "We will not hide them from our children, showing to the generations to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength, and His wonderful works that He hath done." Verses 6 and 7 continue the thought: "That the generation to come might know them, even the children which shall be born who should arise and declare them to their children, that they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God but keep His commandments." Psalm 89:1 - "I will sing of the Lord forever, with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations." Parents, you will never accomplish this with your children without taking time for them.

Maybe your children are grown and out of your home. We still need to be reminded that relationships are to be our priority. They are a gift from the Lord. One of the benefits of the recent changes in our life which began last summer is that we try to have a sharing and praying time together on a more regular basis. Now that we have opposite work schedules for awhile, we have to be more intentional about it. You cannot achieve intimacy in your marriage without making time for each other for meaningful communication, and also for having some fun together.

Time is important to God. There are many references to it in His Word. Psalm 90 in particular has a lot to say about how quickly time passes and culminates with verse 12: "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."  I hope you will remember to just take the time.

Thoughtfully,
Kathi