A lot of people don't really like Valentine's Day. There are those who are single and without a special someone in their life who jokingly call it "Single Awareness Day." There are those who do have a spouse or special someone in their life but that spouse or special someone is clueless about it being a special day. Why can't they be romantic, for at least one day out of the year? And for those who have lost their sweetheart, Valentine's Day can be a painful, bittersweet memory.
As I was thinking about this, one thing is certain: Valentines' Day can carry with it a lot of expectations. Due to endless advertising by the media, and the culture of the world around us, we as women sometimes have all these expectations about Valentines Day. If we don't receive a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, a special gift, and/or a nice dinner out, then we must not be loved or appreciated. If we don't have a husband or boyfriend, or we have one who isn't romantic-minded, we feel worthless. This is a good time to remember that our expectations for love and happiness can't be found in our husbands or boyfriends because no one can perfectly fulfill what only the Lord can. Psalm 62:5 - "My soul, wait only upon God, for my expectation is from Him."
On Valentine's Day, it's worth noting that true love is not about getting. It is about giving. It isn't about being served - love serves others. Sometimes love isn't a feeling - it's a choice to sacrifice self and our desires and preferences, and serve someone else. In John 15 Jesus was giving some final words of instruction to his disciples. In verse 12 He tells us, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." I think if we ask ourselves if we really love others the way Christ did, we would go away feeling pretty convicted about our selfish view of love. Reading 1 Corinthians 13 again is a good reminder of what love is like. True Christ-like love is patient, kind, not envious of others (and what they might get for Valentine's Day). It doesn't insist on having one's own way. It isn't irritable or resentful. That sounds like a very different kind of love from what the world is telling us today, doesn't it?
This Valentine's Day I want to shift focus from getting to giving. But perhaps you are like me, that you really do want to serve or give to your husband or loved one on this special day, but you are short of money or ideas, or both. So I want to devote the rest of this post to some simple ideas that you can do or give at very little cost, but that will convey the right kind of love - that you desire to love and serve the special person in your life. Maybe it's too late to use some of these ideas this Valentine's Day, but you can plan ahead for next year! For simplicity sake, I am going to assume that this person is your husband, but if you don't have a husband I would urge you to apply some of these ideas to other loved ones in your life.
- Make a list of the things that you love and appreciate about your husband, and either write them separately on little notes and put them places for him to read, or type them up and give the list to him inside a special card. I actually did this out of necessity on a special milestone birthday of my husband's when I was recovering from pneumonia and couldn't go out to buy him a birthday gift. I wrote "50 Reasons that I Love You." Both of us still remember this.
- Make up a little gift box or bag of his favorite special treats: His favorite candy bar. A nice pen. A $5 gift card to a coffee shop, donut place, or fast-food restaurant. You get the idea.
- Text him a Bible verse every day for the next month.
- Bake his favorite cookies or dessert.
- If he has time in the morning before he leaves for work, make him a special breakfast and serve it to him with his coffee.
- Instead of going out to a restaurant for a Valentine dinner, which can be pricey and crowded, make and serve a special Valentine dinner at home. Again, we started this out of necessity years ago when our children were young, my husband was in school, and we had no money. And now many years later we have come to really look forward to this. We enjoy picking out something special together for our menu and cooking together, but if your husband doesn't, you know what he likes. You can make a really special dinner for a fraction of the price of what you would pay for the same dinner out, and it is much more intimate. If you have kids at home, wait until they are in bed and then enjoy your dinner.
- Do something special for him that he doesn't have time for - wash his car, take his suit to the cleaners, buy something he needs that he is almost out of.
- Make him a special present. One year recently I made my husband a prayer journal with pictures of the grandkids on the cover. Or make a coffee mug with a picture of the two of you. You can do this at a website like Shutterfly and it doesn't cost very much.
- For friends or other loved ones, especially your children or grandchildren, remember that a hand-written note or a card from the dollar store can go a long way toward showing them you love them. For little ones, tuck some stickers inside.
These are just a few ideas to get you started. The idea is to think about what you can do to show the kind of selfless, serving love that Christ desires. I leave you with this very special quote from a little booklet I have by Amy Carmichael entitled "If." This is only an excerpt of the entire poem "Calvary Love."
"If the praise of others elates me and their blame depresses me,
If I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself,
If I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve,
Then I know nothing of Calvary Love"
Lovingly,
Kathi
"If the praise of others elates me and their blame depresses me,
If I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself,
If I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve,
Then I know nothing of Calvary Love"
Lovingly,
Kathi
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