Sometimes, believe it or not, I am at a loss for words. It is getting toward the end of the week and I know I need to post something on my blog, but I am not sure whether I should post a new soup recipe, pictures of an event we went to, about other happenings in our busy life... or something from my heart. Usually in those times, I tend to go with what is on my heart, something that the Lord has shown me lately from His Word. That is the case today.
This new year has begun for me with the reality of how short and how uncertain our lives truly are. As the calendar turned the page to 2016, I received unexpected news that my supervisor at my job at the public library in Illinois had passed away after a battle with cancer. I thought back with both fond memories and sadness over the five years that I had worked with her every day, and the additional ten or more years that I had known her. Along with this, a parent of one of our family members has just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
It might be because of these events and thoughts that when I was reading in the book of Matthew in my quiet time last week, I saw something that I had never noticed before, in spite of my reading this passage many, many times before. In Matthew chapter 14, we have the miracle of Jesus feeding the 5,000. What I had never before noticed was that this took place immediately after Jesus received the news of the death of His beloved cousin, John the Baptist. The first 11 verses tell us about John's death - by murder - and they sadly conclude with verse 12 telling us "And his disciples came, and took up the body and buried it, and went and told Jesus."
Yes, I know that Jesus is the Son of God, and as such, He knew all things - but just consider how Jesus must have felt upon hearing this very sad news from the disciples. In fact, verse 13 gives us a clue to how He reacted to the news: "Now when Jesus heard this, He withdrew from there by ship to a desolate place by Himself. But when the people heard thereof, they followed Him on foot out of the cities."
When I read this, I thought, "Poor Jesus! He can't even have some private time alone to mourn the death of His loved one! Can't people just leave Him alone for a little while?"
But Jesus didn't get upset or angry or impatient or resentful. Like I do. Verse 14-15: "And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them and healed their sick. And when it was evening, The disciples came to Him saying, this is a deserted place,and the time is now past...." setting the scene for Jesus feeding the multitude. As one in ministry, I think this is pretty amazing. He put aside His feelings and preference to be alone at that time, and He responded to the needs of people with compassion - not resentment. And He continued to just do what He was called to do - to minister. Even when He desired and had every right to be alone, He willingly gave that up to minister to the needs of people.
There's a lesson in this for all of us, I think. For those of us who are pastor's wives or missionaries or involved in some type of full-time Christian ministry, the constant demands and the needs of people can become very wearying. We may have our sights set on doing something else - like going to bed early, or having a quiet meal at home, but life happens. As my husband reminded me, ministry is rarely convenient. And my response is usually far from being like Jesus.
In case you are reading this and saying, "Well, I am not in the ministry, so this doesn't apply to me!" with a sigh of relief, before you dismiss these thoughts I want to assure you that this does speak to everyone. How many times do you have intentions of spending your time doing what you want to do, or living out your day or your week as planned, and something happens to interrupt that? Your child needs your attention. Your husband asks you to do something for him. You get a phone call or an emailed or a texted request that means you need to set those plans and intentions of yours aside for the sake of someone else. How do you respond?
I have a long way to go, but I am praying that I will do better in this area and be more like Jesus. How about you?
Lovingly,
Kathi
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