Dealing with Fear

I was planning to do a Thanksgiving post and give you some pie recipes today, but in light of all the events of the past week in our world, my thoughts are centering on something much more serious and completely different, and that is how to handle fear. Between the terrorist attacks in Paris, news of ISIS infiltrating our own country, and terrible things happening all around us it is very easy to get caught up in a spirit of fear.

As is so often the case, in both my teen girls Sunday School class and our Ladies Bible studies we have been studying topics which go along with this one.  God wants us to love Him with all our mind, and there is a spiritual battle for our minds. 2 Cor. 10:5 tells us that we are to "cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." In short, we must determine to put the truths about God from His Word above every thought that we think. We are prone to a lot of dangerous thought patterns: regret, worry, discouragement, discontent, and - especially now - fear.

The thing that has helped me the most in dealing with fear is realizing that they are "what-if's".  We can spend so much time and energy thinking of all the "what-if's" that they consume us. What if our area is targeted by terrorists? What if my children and grandchildren have to live under terrible persecution? What if someone I love dies? What if I get cancer? And so on and on our thinking goes.

"What-if's" are not true. They are speculative thinking about the unknown. In the list of things that we are to think about in Phil. 4:8. the very first thing on the list is "Whatsoever things are true."

Every "what-if" in life is something God already has knowledge of and has planned for! This week I read and gained some insight from Jeremiah 29:4-10. We are usually familiar with verse 11 which reminds us that God has a plan for us that consists of good and not of evil. But the verses directly preceding that are very interesting. God is speaking to His people who are in captivity in Babylon, through the prophet Jeremiah. If I was one of those people in that situation, I would have been very afraid! Look at these truths that God encouraged His people with:

verses 4 and 7 - twice God says "I have caused you to be carried away into captivity." He is the One who allowed it! We have to remember that nothing happens to us that God does not already know about and is not in His plan for us.

verses 5 and 6 - God gives them a list of specific things they are to do. They are to plant crops and eat the produce. They are to build homes. They are to marry and bear children and raise them. In other words, life is supposed to go on! We can't stop living because we are living in fear of what might happen!

verses 8 and 9 - the people are to keep doing right in obedience to God and not let the negative influences around them deter them from serving Him.

and finally, in verse 10 - there was a time limit established. God sets the boundaries of what can happen, and He is in charge!

There is cause for fear all around us, but God repeatedly tells us not to fear, and He tells us why: because of who He is. When you are tempted to be afraid, rest in His character and His promises!

Till next time,
Kathi

A Vision Adjustment

Sunshine! After a week of dark, rainy, gloomy days I was so happy to see the sunshine pouring in through my windows! The past few days it has been hard to not be in a "down" frame of mind. Are you thinking that you didn't think pastor's wives were ever down or depressed? Well, I have news for you - pastor's wives are like everyone else! We just happen to be married to pastors! That is one of the hard things about being in the ministry - the label that is put on me because my husband is a pastor. People have very definite ideas of what a "pastor's wife" should do or not do and feel or not feel.

Another pitfall of ministry is not being able to measure visible accomplishments or results. I think to some extent we are all "results oriented." Whether or not you are in full-time ministry, we all need the encouragement of seeing the fruits of our labors, whether it be in the form of a clean house, a written report, a homemade meal, a painted room, or a completed project. When it comes to the ministry, that rarely happens. I can think of no other occupation - builders, businessmen and women, doctors, plumbers, teachers, or farmers - that cannot look back over their day or week or month or even year and be able to see and measure their accomplishments. And to be honest - because this is a post of honesty - it can be hard to constantly give everything you have to ministering and helping others, and not be able to see results. And sometimes it even seems like things are going the wrong direction.

Between gloomy weather and the "stuff" of life, it can be hard to not fall into a negative pattern of thinking, which can disturb your joy. Yesterday I gained some valuable insight into the disturbances in my thinking.

Yesterday I visited the eye doctor.

 I had not been in three and a half years, so I was long overdue for a checkup. I had my eyes dilated and was put through the usual battery of tests. One of those tests was to check my peripheral vision. In this test, you are given a clear focus point to stare at, and then when you notice disturbances in your vision around the outside perimeter, you respond. The technician warned me to not start looking at the disturbances, or I would become confused. I had to steadily look at the focal point. That ensured that I would keep the outside disturbances in perspective.

Hmm. I think there's a lesson in there. It is a reminder that in order to keep the proper perspective, I need to steadily focus on my Lord, and not get distracted by the outside disturbances. I was reminded of Hebrews 12:2, which tells us, "Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." The word "looking" means to fix my eyes on Him, and keep Him as my focal point. The problem arises when we fall into a pattern of looking at all the trials and problems, and keep Jesus somewhere in the background. No wonder we get unbalanced and distracted by all that is going on.

How do we look unto Jesus? We spend time in His Word getting to know Him. We thank Him and praise Him for all that He is - the Giver. We thank and praise Him for all that He does - His gifts. We focus on things like His grace and His sovereignty and His goodness. We remember that the outside disturbances are all part of His perfect plan for us.

In my reading this week, Romans 12:12 caught my attention: "Rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulations, continuing instant in prayer." That is a great recipe for dealing with the disturbances in life. Rejoicing in hope - I can rejoice in the Lord who is my hope, because of what He has done for me and continues to do for me each day. Persevering in tribulations - God has done so much for me, and He just asks me to be faithful. The results, or lack of them, are up to Him. And continuing instant in prayer, which means being really devoted to prayer. Also notice the word "instant" - we are more likely to be praying about things as a last resort or an after thought.

Is anything disturbing your vision this week? If so, I hope you will go to our Great Physician who can give you a vision adjustment!

Lovingly,
Kathi

Make Yourself at Home

Last week while browsing in a shop, I saw a decorative sign that read: "Welcome to our Bed & Breakfast! We hope you enjoy your stay!" I was tempted to buy it for our guest room, because it is very appropriate for the last couple of months. In the last eight weeks, we have hosted overnight guests in our home five times! Guests have included our son and his family of five, my sister, and three sets of missionaries - a couple who are missionaries to the military and hosted a conference at our church, a family from Romania, and most recently, our long-time friends and missionaries to Cambodia. Length of stays ranged from two nights to six. In addition, last Friday night we hosted a cookout fellowship in our home that 22 people attended.

I enjoy having guests in our home. Yes, it does involve some work. Laundering sheets and towels, making up beds, cleaning bedrooms and bathrooms, planning for meals, and stocking the refrigerator take time. But I think about verses like Romans 12:13 that tell us to be given to hospitality, and  1 Peter 4:9, where God commands us to show hospitality without a grudging attitude. Hospitality today is mostly missing in the lives of Christians, who say they are too busy or it is not convenient. But do you know what I have found? Having guests stay in our home is always a blessing that far outweighs any work that was done, or any inconvenience!

When I have overnight guests in our home, I want them to feel comfortable. We tell them, "Make yourself at home!" and we truly mean it. We are blessed to have a home that is very conducive to guests - it is a 2-story with the master suite on the main floor. Upstairs we have a loft study/sitting room, 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, and a large "bonus" room that can also be used as a bedroom if necessary. It is the perfect set-up for guests being able to have the entire second floor to themselves, but I always tell them to feel free to use the entire house - the laundry room, the living area, and to help themselves to coffee or a bottle of water or snack. And they do!

Since our most recent guests just departed this morning, this has been on my mind today. And along with these thoughts, I am reminded that if I know Jesus Christ as my Savior, that my heart is His home. Ephesians 3:17 tells us, " that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith." That word "dwell" is important. It means that Christ is not just a guest in your heart. He resides there. It is really quite a privilege for us to make a home for Christ in our heart. And I wonder, does He feel at home? Or do we keep Him at a distance? Do we say, "I want You to be at home, and to feel free to use every room and area of my life."? I doubt it. There are rooms and areas of our lives we want to keep for ourselves.

In reality, if Jesus is our Lord and Savior, He is not just a guest in our life. He is the owner. All that we have belongs to Him. Are we trying to be the owner and treat Him as a guest? Or does He truly have ownership of every room of our life?

Lovingly,
Kathi

Thankful for every little thing

I know, I have been missing in action from the blog lately. And this is not the post I was planning to write. I was looking forward to writing about fun times and happy events.

Two weeks ago, I was happily anticipating a "normal" week at home after our busy Anniversary weekend celebration at church. I was excited about dear friends who were coming for a long-awaited weekend visit. I was also looking forward to hosting a cook-out fellowship in our home that same weekend, followed by a visit from my sister from Georgia who had not been here in two years.

Then I got sick.

Not just a little sick. No, for some reason when I get sick (which is not that often), I get REALLY sick. This time, I had bronchitis and the flu at the same time. I paid a visit to my doctor right away who confirmed I had bronchitis and started me on some prescriptions with orders to rest in bed. After a few days of getting worse instead of better, it was determined that I indeed had the flu on top of bronchitis. My fever kept going up and I could hardly get out of bed. As if this wasn't enough misery, I have an auto-immune condition that causes me to get a bad rash whenever I get sick. It was more like a bad sunburn than a rash, and it extended from my head to my feet. Did I say I was miserable?

So you know what happened to all my plans as a result of this. My planned nice week of productivity went out the window. We had to call our friends and cancel their visit. I cried. We canceled the cookout fellowship. And because my sister has CF and no immune system to speak of, we had to put her visit on hold as well. We had some unexpected difficulties come up at church and at home which made me feel even worse. More tears.

During this time, as I lay in bed feeling awful, I realized something. I could cry and complain and be distressed and depressed. Or I could choose to be grateful...to find things to be thankful for even in the midst of all this. As Nancy Leigh DeMoss says, we can whine, or we can worship. So often we relegate being thankful to the month of November. Or we thank God for the "big" things like our home, our family, our church, our health, and our freedom.

I think God wants us to be much more intentional about being grateful, and to learn to be thankful for every little thing. After all, everything we have is because of His grace and mercy. We deserve nothing and without His grace we would have nothing. 

I was thankful that I don't have an outside job right now and that I could stay home and recuperate without being stressed about missing work. I was thankful for a comfortable bed in which to sleep and rest, and for a bathtub with warm running water to make my rash feel better. Believe me, there are many places around the world where people do not enjoy these little things, and especially in the midst of the floods that were going on in South Carolina when I was sick, I was even more mindful of that. I was thankful for a good doctor who called me twice and for medicine and for insurance to help pay for the doctor and the medicines. I was thankful for hot tea and for homemade chicken soup that was brought by two sweet friends from church. I was thankful for a husband who cared for me and who didn't complain about eating soup for practically a whole week. And so it goes.

Yes, we missed our visit from our friends. I have to trust God's providence that this was not in His plan for either of us right now, and hopefully we can make it happen someday. I can be thankful for God's providence. I am thankful that He does have a plan for me and that plan is always for my good and my learning and ultimately for His glory.

My sister did get to come for a visit. In fact, she just left this morning. Our time together was shortened and so we had to adjust our plans and did not get to do some things we had wanted to do, but we still had a wonderful 5 days of shopping, laughing, talking, making a couple crafts, cooking together, and shop-browsing. I am thankful that God allowed us this time together and that even this abbreviated time was under His sovereign provision.

The theme of thanksgiving runs throughout the book of Colossians. In Col. 1:3, and again in verse 12,   we are instructed to be thankful in our praying.  In 2:7, we are to be "abounding in thanksgiving." Abounding means overflowing. And in chapter 3, it is mentioned two more times - verse 15. ..."and be ye thankful" and verse 17: "and whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him."  Chapter 4, verse 2 - "continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving."

We do not always feel like being thankful. We are so prone to have a spirit of ingratitude. But God wants us to be thankful, for every little thing. To get started, you might want to do what I did a few years ago and make it a habit to write down 5 things you are grateful for every day. They can be things as little as a hot cup of coffee, a folded pile of laundry. Trust me, when you get into the habit of cultivating a thankful attitude, it will change you.

Until next time,

Kathi

A Heart to Serve

 It's been quite a week at our house. It began last weekend with hosting missionaries from Romania. We had known them as a married couple many years ago when my husband was still in school, but not seen them since. Now they are the parents of two teenagers. It was our pleasure to host their family in our home for a few days.

The day after they departed began 4 straight days for me spending every day, or most of it, at the church preparing for our church's 25th anniversary weekend, which just concluded yesterday and was a wonderful time of celebration. It began with breakfast for the two visiting pastors and their wives and ourselves and included a Saturday evening banquet, special services, a video presentation, and a barbecue lunch on Sunday. In no way did I accomplish any of this by myself - I was privileged to work with many wonderful and talented ladies. But I must say that it consumed all my time and energy and as wonderful as it was, I am thankful that it is over and I can now give my attention to things I have been neglecting, like my house, my laundry,  and my writing. Wednesday was shopping day, Thursday was spent setting up and decorating the gym for our banquet. Friday and Saturday were cooking and food preparation days, interspersed with trips to Walmart for things we needed.

As I reflected on the busyness of this past week, it could be characterized by one word: service. I would like to share with you a couple of thoughts I have in relation to serving the Lord:

1. Serving is rarely convenient. The timing of hosting a family in our home for the days immediately leading up to our anniversary weekend could've been better. I would not have chosen it that way, but as usual, the Lord had something He wanted me to learn from it. It was found one morning in my devotions: Romans 12:13 - "Distributing to the necessities of the saints, given to hospitality." The word "distributing" can also be translated "contributing." When I read this, my heart was pricked. Yes, it wasn't the most convenient time. But God had assigned me the task of contributing to the needs of His people by practicing hospitality. Missionaries who are constantly traveling have needs. They needed to homeschool their children, and we could provide a quiet place and the use of our internet service to accomplish that. They needed to do laundry. They needed some time to rest. What a privilege is ours as Christians to be used to minister to them! So many times I hear that it is "not convenient" for people to host missionaries in their homes or to have them in for a meal. I myself complain about it not being convenient for my schedule and responsibilities. But you know what? God changed my attitude. I can use inconvenience as an excuse not to practice hospitality, or I can determine that I am going to serve the saints of the Lord to the best of my ability and seek to be a blessing to them! In so doing, the blessing is really ours! And for those who have children at home, what is your attitude teaching them? Which leads me to the second thought:

2. As parents, we have a responsibility to train our children to have servants hearts.  It warmed my heart to see some of the children of our church pitching in with their parents to serve! We had a little girl doing jobs like putting salt & pepper shakers on tables, boys washing dishes, and young ladies serving food alongside their mother. These kids are learning by example to have a heart to serve. Raising kids with servants hearts does not just happen - they need to be trained. Our natural bent is to be self-centered. I am concerned about the lack of hospitality and having hearts to serve among our young people today. My husband and I did some things wrong as parents, but this was one thing we did right. All of our children, by God's grace, have grown into adults who have a heart to serve. We involved our kids in ministry from a very early age. They could set up chairs, put out hymnbooks, set tables, clean the church, fold bulletins, serve at fellowships. As they grew older, they helped in the nursery, played musical instruments, helped in VBS and Children's church, and a long list of other things. They gave up their bedrooms to visiting missionaries and guests. They have memories of being squished together onto a piano bench around the dining room table in order to have enough chairs to accommodate all our guests. I am not saying this to brag on them - I am saying that in order to have adults with servant hearts, you have to train children to cultivate hearts that want to serve. Our children were blessed beyond measure by the experiences they had in serving.  All of them are thankful for the opportunities they had in every imaginable aspect of service that have helped to equip them for their ministries today.

Of course, the best example we have of a servant is the Lord Jesus. He spent His whole earthly life in serving others. Joshua 22:5 exhorts us to show our love for the Lord by serving Him "with all your soul and all your might." What is your service saying about your love for Him?

Lovingly,
Kathi

To everything there is a season....

This morning marked a milestone in our house. I packed up and put away my husband's walker, cane, and all the bags of therapy and post-operative equipment that we had collected since his knee-replacement surgery in June. He received welcome news from his surgeon at his appointment this morning that he can discontinue his blood-thinner medication, and he doesn't have to be seen again until next year! That makes us happy for a couple of reasons: we have both really disliked the Coumadin diet, which didn't allow him to basically eat anything healthy. Green vegetables and salads were out and starches were in! Now we can go back to eating our veggies! Secondly, it means that he is making progress with his daily visits to the gym and pool at the Y and he gets to continue his exercise regimen toward his goal of strengthening his leg.

A few months ago, that walker and then the cane, along with the medical supplies, were absolutely indispensable. I couldn't have imagined packing them away. I was thinking about this the last few days as I put away my patriotic summer decor and got out my pumpkins, scarecrows, apples, wreaths, and other fall decorations. It seemed like I was just decorating our house for summer, and now the summer season is past and fall is upon us. We carefully plant annual flowers in the spring and then dig them up when they are finished blooming for the summer and replace them with something else.

This all reminds me of the verse in Ecclesiastes 3:1 - "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." When we reflect on this, we realize that God indeed does have a designated time and a purpose for everything He allows in our lives. The key to our peace and contentment is to accept and appreciate God's perfect timing of everything in our lives.

Our lives as women are made up of seasons. Each one has its challenges and its joys. We may be young, single women who are trying to figure out what God wants us to do and make hard choices about where we will go to school, what we will study, who we will marry or not marry, where we will live. There is the season of motherhood, when we are so busy raising our children that we wonder if we will ever have a moment to ourselves again. There may be years spent homeschooling, in contrast with years spent in outside employment or working at home. There is the empty-nest season when we have to adjust to just being the two of us again and relating to our now-grown children as adults, and learning to be a grandmother.... There are seasons of illness and health, of friendships that were once strong but fade when one of you moves away or on to a different season. There are seasons of being a caregiver and the one receiving the care. Yes, to everything there is a season.

This is a lesson to me in a couple of ways. We need to learn to appreciate the good times and try to live "in the moment", because nothing lasts forever. So often we are always looking forward to "the next thing" and we miss enjoying the blessings of the here and now. We can also be encouraged that if we are going through a difficult season, God has a limit to it and will bring it to an end when it is HIS time.

In addition, we can look for what lessons God wants us to learn in every season of life. I am a firm believer that God does not put us in any season that He will not somehow use in our lives or the lives of others. He has lessons to teach us and experiences to help us grow and things for us to learn. No matter what season you are in right now, you can know for sure that it will not last forever, and you can be confident that He has something for you to learn. And in every season, He will give you all the grace and strength you need, because it is all under His sovereign control.

Thoughtfully,
Kathi

God's Gracious Providence

September in Virginia is beautiful! The nights are cool and the days have been sunny, warm, and clear with none of the summer humidity - at least for now! In another couple of months the leaves will be turning and I always especially enjoy the beauty of God's creation at that time of year.

I didn't get a post written last week because I was in Georgia, spending the week with my family. My missionary brother and sister-in-law who live out of the country were there at my parents' home, and my sister lives nearby. Since it had been 9 years since we were all together, I decided this was a good time to go and visit. It was truly a special time of being together and we had a wonderful week.

I have been reminded anew lately of God's gracious providence in our lives. Last year in the Ladies Bible Study class that I teach, we studied God's providence, based on the book, Not by Chance by Layton Talbert. It is a book and a study I highly recommend! It makes one more aware of God's providence - his sovereign rule over and direct involvement in every event in our lives. I personally witnessed that again this past week - not just once, but three times!

While I was in Georgia and alone one morning at my sister's house where I was staying, I went to my car and it would not start. It had a dead battery. I called my brother and he came over and was able to get it started by jumping it, and he also went with me to get a new battery purchased and installed. God's providence was that 1) this happened in my sister's driveway and not somewhere along the 9 hour route between there and home, and 2) it happened on my brother's last day there, so he was available to help me. My dad, due to his health, is no longer able to do things like that. God's gracious provision!

The big answered prayer request I spoke of in my last blog post was the sale of our house in Illinois. At the end of this month, we have now been here for three years, and our house in Illinois had still not sold. We have been waiting, praying, and paying two mortgage payments (plus the related utilities, taxes, insurance and expenses!) for three years! We are rejoicing in God answering our prayer, as well as His timing which is always perfect. Well, at the end of last week we found out that the closing on the house was being moved up by a week. They needed the necessary paperwork signed and notarized and in Illinois no later than Monday morning. That meant it had to be done and sent off from here on Friday afternoon. No emails or faxes accepted. And I was in Georgia! My husband arranged for a notary appointment at our bank, and I began the home earlier than I had planned so that I could arrive home in time. It was a stressful and tiring trip, but I made it, only to learn when we got to the bank that a rule had changed. They could notarize our paperwork but they could not witness our signatures. And since we didn't have any witnesses, they couldn't notarize our papers. This was at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon! All I could think of was that I had just driven 10 hours and now we weren't going to make the deadline after all. God then sent a man whom we had never met, who stepped in and offered to be our witness! The paperwork was completed in short order and we proceeded to the Fed-Ex office before they closed and got everything sent off just in time! God's gracious provision!

One of the stipulations in the sale of our house was that we have a swing set in the backyard removed. That was easier said than done - another difficulty of being 1,000 miles away. Our realtor had asked around and found someone who wanted it, but at the last minute when the person found out they had to take it apart and remove it from the ground, they changed their mind. So we still had to have it removed before the closing. The last possible day, it "happened" that my brother was in the same town, ministering at our former church which is one of their supporting churches. This is the ONLY time he was there in FOUR YEARS! It's amazing - our house didn't sell for three years, and then God orchestrates the sale and closing for the exact time my brother would be in town! He, along with a friend of ours there, kindly spent the morning of his last day there doing just that, and they even found someone to give it to! God's gracious provision!

We might think "That's just lucky", coincidental, or our "good fortune." As Christians, there is no such thing as fortune or luck. I share these things with you so that you may be encouraged. God cares about and intervenes even in the smallest details of our lives. The subtitle of the book I mentioned above, Not by Chance, is Learning to Trust a Sovereign God. If we are confident of God's gracious providence in our lives, we can trust His timing and His daily guidance. We fall into the trap of blaming God for the bad things and failing to thank Him for the good things in our lives. As a result, we often misinterpret the intent of our circumstances. What we see as being against us, God is actually working for us. Today, thank the Lord for His gracious providence in your life!

Gratefully,
Kathi