The Light in My Window

The Light in My Window

Friday, May 19, 2017

Giving Up Control

I have an amazing husband. I really do.

Some of you may have seen my post on Facebook about the wonderful dinner he cooked and served me when I came home from work one evening this week. He cleaned up the kitchen, too! He has never hesitated to pitch in and help, whether it be cooking or dishes or laundry.

During the course of our marriage, I have always pretty much taken charge of the house and all the related tasks. I thoroughly enjoy everything about homemaking, and after 41 years I am pretty good at it. But since I began working full-time a couple months ago, we really have been working together as a team. If he gets home from work before I do, he cooks. If he's working at night and home during the day, he'll do some of the laundry or run to the grocery store instead of me having to do it. When it comes to the finances and bill paying, I have always taken care of that as well, but now he might be the one who goes to the bank or pays the bills.

Don't misunderstand me! I am definitely not complaining! I am very blessed to have that kind of a husband. But for me, there is a difficult side to this. I have been doing these things for a very long time - and I am used to having complete control over what I do. He often doesn't do things the way I do. No longer being in charge means that sometimes I have items on my grocery list and I look in the refrigerator or pantry and see my husband has already bought them. I don't know what clothes are clean and what is still in the hamper. I have to check to see the status of our finances. After so many years, it is a bit of an adjustment to not feel in control of things at home.

Losing control can be an uncomfortable feeling but it is ultimately a good thing. Likewise, often I have struggled with the Lord over who is in control of my life. I have my plans and my idea of how things should go and how they should turn out. And more often than not, life doesn't go that way. Never have I been so out of control of my life as I have been this past year, when everything suddenly changed and nothing turned out as we had planned. In fact, that is one thing that the Lord has really driven home to me these past months: We may plan and we may think we are in control, but God's plans will stand. Proverbs 16:9 - "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." And Proverbs 19:21 - "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." 

Plans - it's kind of ironic that I work for the county planning department and I work around plans every day. Plans are something that we  put a lot of thought and work into, and we think they should be set in stone. But when we give our lives to the Lord, we need to realize that we are no longer in control. God desires that we submit our will to His. And God in His love and wisdom does a much better job at being in control of our lives. While we may have Plan A, God's plan is really Plan A, even though it may be quite different than ours. And God's plan is always better.

I am reminded of the words to this song that is sung by Mac and Beth Lynch:

With my whole heart I humbly seek you;
Now use my life, O Lord, I pray.
I yield my stubborn will completely,
May your commandments light my way.

My life, Lord, is yours to control;
I give you my heart and my soul.
I'll seek your will, never mine,
Rich treasure to find.
Give wisdom to choices I make,
Along every path that I take.
So when I complete life's race,
"Well done" you will say.

And in the end, that's what it's all about.

Lovingly,
Kathi








Thursday, May 11, 2017

The Roses and the Thorns

This week marks 7 weeks since I began working full-time. Along with that, somehow it seems like time is passing even more quickly than it used to. Am I the only one wondering how it is possible that it is already May and that this Sunday is Mother's Day?

Last Saturday I had the opportunity to visit the Botanical Gardens with a group of ladies from church. The day's cold and cloudy weather was not lovely, but the flowers were, especially the large variety of gorgeous orchids blooming in the conservatory.

After enjoying a considerable amount of time in the conservatory, I became separated from my group so I spent a few minutes wandering alone in the rose gardens, which were beautiful. I observed how exquisitely each petal was formed, and the endless varieties and shades of beautiful colors. I marveled at our great Creator who designed such beauty and perfection. I asked myself how I could ever think that a God powerful enough to create something so intricate and beautiful could not take care of me?


But at the same time I was admiring the roses, I touched one to bring it up close to take a picture and instantly the thorns pricked my fingers. And my attention immediately turned from the beauty of the rose to the pain. As I thought about this later, I couldn't miss the significance. The beauty was still there, unchanged, but my focus had shifted to the thorns. The Lord made me realize that so often I do the very same thing. There may be blessings all around me, but I am stuck in the thorns.

In Numbers 11:5 we read how the children of Israel looked back and cried over the things they used to have in Egypt and now missed. "We remember the fish we ate in Egypt freely, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions and the garlic." But in verse 6, they continued on:"But now our soul is dried away and there is nothing at all except this manna!" They were so immersed in the past that they completely missed what God was doing for them in the present.

We tend to be critical of the Israelites for reacting in such a way, after all God has done for them. But if I am honest, I can so relate to this. Often lately I am feeling sad over what I used to have that I no longer do. Little things, like a yard to enjoy this time of year. My nice top of the line kitchen appliances, because I love to cook and bake. The spaciousness of my house. And bigger things - time with my husband. Free time to do the things I love, like blog and scrapbook and bake. And especially the time and opportunity to visit and attend all the special events of our grandchildren. These are my thorns.

But what about the roses? We may not have a yard, but we don't have to be concerned with mowing and keeping it up either. My appliances are not deluxe or have the features I want, but they are new. Our apartment may be small, but we have a home (which doesn't take much time to clean!) I don't have much free time anymore, but I have a job. And while I miss time with my husband, I still HAVE a husband, as well as beautiful, healthy grandchildren.

I am reminded of my theme for this year - contentment. I recently read that"Comparison kills contentment." And it's true. That includes comparison of the past and the present. We sometimes need to remind ourselves to shift our focus from the thorns to the roses. That will go a long way in helping us learn to be content. God is faithful and pours His blessings out on us over and over again. We just need to see them.

Til next time,
Kathi