Finding Grace Outside Your Comfort Zone

Lately I seem to be finding myself doing a lot of new things...things that are not exactly within my comfort zone. To be clear, they are really little things. Due to my husband's busy ministry schedule and his upcoming knee replacement surgery in less than a month, I have taken on the job of mowing the lawn and keeping up with everything in the yard. I know that for a lot of women, this would not be something new or different, but in the 40 years that we have been married mowing the lawn is just something that my hubby has always done so I have very little experience in this area. Another thing I recently did for the first time was take our car to be serviced. Again, it was something new and different for me and because of that, I was nervous. What if they asked me a question I didn't know the answer to and thus revealed my ignorance when it comes to vehicles? I was imagining all kinds of scenarios! You may be laughing at me, but if you are honest, there are probably lots of things that I do that would be completely outside your comfort zone - speaking to large groups of women, teaching a class, counseling women and girls in crisis situations. I used to drive long distances by myself to visit family or pick up kids from college when we lived in the midwest, and a lot of ladies told me they didn't think they could ever do that! In short, we are comfortable with the familiar and with that which comes easily for us. When we are asked to do something unfamiliar or for which we feel inadequate, we can quickly and easily become very uncomfortable. And we as women like to feel safe. We treasure the secure and the familiar.

Different seasons of life require stepping outside of our comfort zone. Young women might need to leave home and attend a college that maybe isn't as close to home as what they had planned on, or their husbands take jobs which mean a move away from their family. Older women may find it necessary to care for aging parents or ill husbands, or raise grandchildren. In our churches and ministries we can be asked to mentor someone, teach a class, be in charge of an event, or share our testimony and we resist because it means stepping outside our comfort zone.

Did you ever consider that sometimes God puts us in situations where we feel inadequate and uncomfortable in order to teach us more about humility, depending on Him, and the sufficiency of His grace? God asks us to do the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable in order to stretch our faith.  Grace is defined by Jim Berg as "God's enabling strength," and I like that definition. Grace is also God giving me the desire and the power to do His will. Philippians 2:13 is one of my favorite verses - "For it is God (emphasis added) which worketh in you both to will and to do His good pleasure."

A spirit of humility is the first step toward being in the right position to receive God's grace. In 1 Peter 5:5, we are told that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." That same thought is repeated in James 4:6 - "But He giveth more grace. Wherefore He saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble." God's grace is always there, but He can only give it to us if we humble ourselves and admit that we are unable to do this thing without His enabling strength. Pride says we don't need God's help, so we are not in a position to receive God's grace. That is why situations which are outside our comfort zones are often God's way of humbling us so that we learn to depend on Him and His grace - which truly is amazing.

Thoughtfully,
Kathi

Strawberry Pie!

Today it is cool with a steady downpour of rain in my part of the country, but yesterday it was a picture-perfect day - sunny, warm, and a slight breeze. It was a beautiful day for one of my favorite late-spring activities, picking strawberries! It is an extra-fun thing to do here because in order to get to the place where we like to pick the best strawberries, we get to take a ferry ride! So yesterday bright and early I picked up a friend and we headed off for our little excursion. We arrived at the perfect time - the ferry was half-empty so we got right on, and after enjoying a relaxing 20 minute ferry ride, there were not many pickers at the strawberry farm yet.

The strawberries were plentiful, huge, and sweet! It took us no time at all to fill our large baskets. In fact, we picked a third basket and split it, so I actually brought home more strawberries than I had intended - but who could resist such beautiful berries?

After I got home, the first thing I made with my strawberries was a Fresh Strawberry pie. It is a favorite of my husband's, and I have been making this recipe for many, many years. It is the BEST. I decided to share it with you today because it is SO good! And I took pictures for YOU.

Strawberry Pie

1 pie crust, baked
1 quart fresh strawberries, washed and hulled. If large, cut them in half.

3/4 cup sugar
3 T. strawberry jello powder (this is half a small box)
3 T. cornstarch
1 cup warm water

1. Make and bake your pie crust. (see below if you want to make your own crust!)

2. In a sauce pan, whisk together the sugar, jello powder, and cornstarch. Slowly pour in the warm water. Stir and cook over medium-high heat until mixture bubbles and thickens. You will know it is ready when it turns a bright clear red as it boils. Remove from heat and cool.

3. When cooled, add strawberries and toss well. Pour into baked crust. That's it!

Chill for several hours. Serve topped with whipped cream! 

This pie is extra-yummy with homemade pie crust - see how flaky it is? I understand that a lot of women today do not know how to make homemade pie crust or are intimidated by it. You CAN use a pre-made pie crust, but it really is so easy!

Pie Crust

1 cup flour

1/2 tsp. salt

1/3 cup shortening

3-4 T. of ice water

Whisk together the flour and salt, and cut in shortening until coarse crumbs form. Add ice water (Ice water is my secret!) one T. at a time, until soft dough forms into a ball. Flatten dough into a disk. You can wrap in plastic wrap and chill until you are ready to use it, or for immediate use, roll out on a floured surface, transfer to pie plate, and flute edges. For a baked crust like the one in the strawberry pie recipe, bake the crust at 425 for about 12 minutes. 

I hope you will try these recipes! You won't be disappointed! 

Til next time,

Kathi

A Mother's Heart

This is a busy time of year for us, with end-of-the-school-year events for both grandchildren and church ministries, Mother's Day, graduations, and birthdays happening in quick succession. As a mom whose children are grown and married and living in other parts of the country, I confess that Mother's Day is now a little bittersweet for me since I rarely get to spend it with any of our children. I can't help but think of Mother's Days in the past when all my children were still at home. They used to make me breakfast in bed. We still laugh when we think of the early years when they brought me cereal - with the milk already poured on it, usually quite awhile in advance! - and burned toast! As they grew older and learned to cook, the cereal gradually gave way to things like scrambled eggs or French Toast, but those cereal Mother's Day breakfasts have a special  place in my heart! In our family we have long had a tradition where my husband and children, instead of taking me out for dinner, cooked me a special Mother's Day meal at home. I was banished to the living room, or to the yard if it was a warm day, to enjoy a glass of iced tea and to listen to all the noise, chatter, and activity in the kitchen which always made me wonder exactly what was going on in there!

My husband is actually a fantastic cook and he still keeps that tradition by cooking for me on Mother's Day, even though now he has to do it without any help. This is what he made for me this year: Grilled marinated shrimp, a baked potato, corn on the cob, and spinach and strawberry salad. It was delicious!

The transition from having children at home to having grown adult children has taken me awhile, but in the process I have learned to more deeply appreciate, nourish and cherish my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Every other relationship in our lives will eventually change. Parents grow older and die. Husbands can die or leave, children grow up and establish their own families. Friends change or move away. How sweet it is to know that our Lord never changes. At every stage of life and motherhood, He wants us to desire Him and our relationship with Him more than any other. In Luke 10:42, Jesus tells Martha that "one thing is needful, and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." As young moms we need to keep our focus on Him and ask for His grace, strength, and wisdom in raising our children. As older moms, we need to still keep our focus on Him with a heart of gratitude while committing our now-larger families to Him. 

To me, one of the most exciting things about being mom to grown children and grandmother to our grandchildren is the privilege we have to pray for them. I do not mean just praying that God will bless and help them. I mean praying intentionally and specifically for each one. No one knows the needs, the struggles, the challenges and the tendencies of your children and grandchildren more than you do. Something that I especially love is to pray Scripture. When you are reading your Bible and come across verses that can be applied to one or more of your children or grandchildren, write them in your journal or notebook. Something I am excited about doing but have not yet had a chance to begin is to keep a page in my notebook for each child and grandchild. Then use the Scripture that you write down as a guide to pray. For example, from Proverbs 3:5-6: "Lord, help               to trust in You with all their heart and not to depend on their own knowledge or understanding, but in everything they do may            acknowledge You and let You direct their path." 

When you pray Scripture, you can always know that you are praying what is God's will. If you need more help or encouragement with this idea, a book that I have found helpful is "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children" by Jodi Berndt. I give this little hardback book as a gift at every baby shower I go to. Whatever season of mothering you are in, thank God for the privilege that He has given you to train, love, and pray for your children.

Lovingly,

Kathi

Notes to My Younger Self, for Mothers

In my last blog post I began writing about pieces of advice that I would give to my younger self - things I wish I had known when I was a young mom, or (specifically in my last post) a Pastor's wife who is just starting out in ministry. Today as I continue in this vein I would like to talk more about the years when you are busy raising a family. Since Mother's Day is this Sunday, I guess this is a timely topic!

A few months ago, our youngest son who is a youth pastor and Christian school teacher, asked me to send him some baby pictures of himself that he needed for a church banquet game. Since scrapbooking is one of my loves, and I have completed well over a dozen albums to date, that was an easy request! Or so I thought. I did not take into account the time I would spend turning the pages of those photo albums and reminiscing about all the memories that suddenly came to life. As women, whether we like it or not, much of our identity is wrapped up in our role of being a mom. Even though we have been empty-nesters officially since 2011 when our youngest got married and moved away, I still sometimes find it hard to accept that our children are all grown up and married, and that phase of my life is over. I loved being a mom and although most of the time I have adjusted well to this new phase of life, sometimes I am overcome with wishing I could have those times back - even for one day. I am so thankful for the opportunity as well as the memories of raising three wonderful children. So what are the things I would like to pass on to younger mothers who are still in this stage of life?

1. Be more intentional about living in the moment. You hear over and over again, "They grow up so quickly." And believe me, they do. I look at my kids now in their 30's and late 20's, who all have their own kids, and I think "How did this happen? When did they grow up?" Take the time to play with them, go places with them, enjoy them, love them - because soon they will be grown and gone. Trust me. Make memories. Some day the mess and the noise will be gone, and your house will be too quiet.

2. Take advantage of the teachable moments. I wish I had done a better job with this. As a busy mom, particularly if you tend to be a perfectionist like me, you find it easier and quicker just to do things yourself rather than teaching your children. Teach them all you can about everyday skills: cooking, baking, cleaning, doing laundry, sewing, gardening, changing a tire, painting a room, fixing a leaking faucet or a toilet. My daughter tells me often how grateful she is that she knows how to cook and bake from scratch - and she makes a mean pie! Take advantage of everyday situations to give them Scripture and spiritual lessons. This is passing on the torch to the next generation.

3. Your child's happiness is not the main thing. This is something that my husband and I often observe in young parents today. They are so concerned about making sure that their child is happy, and that they don't have to suffer any consequences or problems, that they make this their main objective in their parenting decisions. You should be instilling in them a love for and dependence upon the Lord. Life is not always going to be easy, and you can't make it all smooth sailing for them. If they develop a close and personal walk with the Lord, then they will have what they need to get them through the hard times. Making their way easy is not doing them any favors.

4. Don't get caught up in the comparison trap. This is another thing that is very prevalent today, especially with the internet and things like Pinterest. We compare our homes, our decorating ability, our birthday parties, our clothes, our meals, the accomplishments of our children, and you-name-it - and if we don't measure up we feel like a failure. I recently came across this quote, and it is very true: "Comparing ourselves always results in a sinful outcome. If we come up short, we fail to see the hand of God. If we come out ahead, we are dealing with pride." We seek to do our best and be our best by the grace of God, and compare ourselves to God's standards, not the standards and accomplishments of others.

I am sure I could come up with other things, but for now, these are what are on my mind. Life changes. I think of a stanza of a favorite hymn:  "Lead to thy God to order and provide, In every change, He faithful will remain." (Be Still My Soul)

Happy Mother's Day to moms everywhere!

Love, 

Kathi